#just something cracky and silly

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

Nov 25th

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1. ITMF meeting at someone's workplace! kinda like wwx gets the hots for his dentist or doctor, or lz finds himself pining over the bike mechanic! thanku!

A Lot's Gonna Change by etymologyplayground (T, 5k, WangXian, Meet-Cute, Weddings, Humor, Banter, Flirting, Slow Dancing, Modern AU, Sexual Tension)

Deep Dive by MimiSpearmint (E, 24k, WangXian, Modern AU, Twin Prides of Yunmeng Feels, Are Bad at Communicating, LWJ is a Panicked Gay, Therapy, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, Angst with a Happy Ending, Career Ending Injuries, counsellor!lwj, give lwj friends agenda, background NieLan, Melbourne, Eventual Smut, Crack, Baby JL, domestic abuse is discussed but does not happen, Baby LSZ, Baby LJY, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Good Sex Practices, Implied Slight D/s, WangXian Have a Breeding Kink, Cameos by various minor characters)

A Single Note by airinshaw (E, 19k, WangXian, Modern AU, Getting Together, Mutual Pining, Kissing, Anal Sex, Fluff and Smut, Light Dom/sub)

crystalized by gusuvibes (M, 25k, WangXian, Modern, Bakery, Pining, Getting Together, Baker LWJ, Nurse WWX, OYZZ in a STARRING ROLE, Bunnies With Bad Names, Elaborate Descriptions of Delicious Baked Goods, Frottage, Eventual Smut, Sexy, Baking, Time)

Fight Me? by Witch_Nova221 (G, 5k, WangXian, Romantic Comedy, Hospitals, patient lwj, Nurse WWX, Medication, Minor burns, under the influence of medication, Funny, Silly, threadfic)

🔒divine, divine by sunflowersfield (T, 3k, WangXian, Modern, Fluff, Falling In Love, Getting Together, Mutual Pining, Strangers to Lovers, First Kiss, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, For an extremely minor injury/cut on the hand, Meet-Cute)

i know who i want to take me home by ScarlettStorm (E, 16k, WangXian, Modern, bartender WWX, Drunk LWJ, Caretaking, Meet-Cute, meeting your soulmate because someone got him drunk AF and left him at your bar, late-night diner food, Fluff, Comedy, Smut, Minor Angst, major shenanigans, sort of a eulogy for a particular diner I really miss, not that that's relevant to the story but it's relevant to my feelings)

You Only Die Twice by Mikkeneko (T, 11k, WangXian, Assassins/Spies, Assassins & Hitmen, Modern AU, Mafia AU, Action, Moderate Violence, a lot of people die but no named characters, not exactly lan sect friendly, not exactly lan sect critical either, Assassin LWJ, Kindergarten Teacher WWX, coffee shop meet cute, Let LWJ Say Fuck, slightly cracky, Non-Linear Narrative) I actually recommend "You Only Die Twice" by mikkeneko. It's an assassin/hitmen AU but my bookmarker's tag on it is "surprisingly close to a coffeeshop AU" and I think it hits the notes the requester is looking for

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2. Are there any fanfics that have animals adoring Wei ying I know that there's no lions in China but just imagine a tiger or a lion. wwx befriends a huge cat because he's terrified of dogs and cats are okay and a lion or tiger it's okay with the rabbits that he has and the rabbits also adore him as well / Hi to fic finder so I'm kind of in a mood so do you have any fic where wwx has like a pet tiger or like he finds a cub and raise it and the cup thinks it's his mother or something like that I just want wwx to have a pet tiger or lion because I think wwx would be a cat person but also a bunny person so he has bunnies too and a tiger or lion doesn't eat the bunny because they're friends and the tiger and lion only eats fish but sometimes they go for deer meat or whatever @constancebloodstone (both asks from the same person)

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3. Hi! This is for ITMF. A marriage of convenience/arranged marriage where WWX and LWJ promised each other to try to love each other. Like the fic focused on them get to know each other. No misunderstanding. Well not too much. And i dont want the kind of misunderstanding where WWX/LWJ suspected that the other like someone else. And no angst please. Well not too much

Thanks! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

🔒 In Agreement by kuro (T, 9k, WangXian, LXC & LWJ, Arranged Marriage, Canon Divergence, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Domestic Fluff, Developing Relationship)

💖 sweet chaos by eachandeverydimension (G, 86k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Canon Divergence, Fluff, Romance, Light Angst, Falling In Love, Different First Meeting, Qīnghéng-jūn’s A+ Parenting, Night Hunts, Chinese Language, Good Sibling LXC, Good Sibling JYL, POV LWJ, Getting Together, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Chinese Culture, Slow Burn, No Homophobia AU)

forever is home (with you) by moonsteps (T, 23k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Canon Divergence, Intimacy, Sharing a Bed, Strangers to Lovers, the inherent romance of the forehead ribbon)

Lead Me On Through by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 54k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Practice Kissing, practice other things, horny boys in love, questionable logic, Questionable Choices, they’re dumb but cute) where Wei Ying & Lan Zhan fall in love with each other and then learn that they've been betrothed for an arranged marriage.

The Simplest Way Forward by harriet_vane (E, 70k, WangXian, Modern AU, Accidental Baby Acquisition,Kid Fic, explicit in much much later chapters, green card marriage (but not really), pining for your own husband, endless pining, Slow Burn, Happy Ending, Nothing else bad or traumatic happens to the baby, [Podfic of] The Simplest Way Forward by knight_tracer) The summary makes it sound very misunderstanding heavy but I think it's balanced very well. Just the right amount of misunderstandings, if you will

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4. Hello mods!! For the next ITMF i'm looking for a fic where someone other than lan zhan is interested in wei ying and is trying to hit on him. Lan zhan getting jealous and trying to hit on wei ying too! Like a real cliche yk :D two characters fighting for ones love. i'm just craving that 😶‍🌫️anywayss as always thank you in advancee!! @for13years-i-play-inquiry-foryou

🔒💖 Advisable Lan rules and other shenanigans by apathyinreverie (G, 4k, WangXian, Humor, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, as in utterly unapologetic fix-it fluffiness, Drunk LWJ, exasperated WWX, Smitten LWJ, Soft WWX, Gusu Lan Sect Rules, Possessive LWJ, In Vino Veritas, Drunk Shenanigans, Fluff, Перевод на русский | Translation in Russian)

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5. Hello! For the next ITMF, could I please get your favorite fics of WWX and MY as family/besties? Thank you!

what builds a home by Stratisphyre (T, 45k, WangXian, MY & WWX, Canon Divergence, Adopted WWX, POV Multiple, warning for JGS behaving exactly as expected, child endangerment, Brother Feels, Minor Character Death, [Podfic] Cold read of "what builds a home" by Stratisphyre by KeriArentikaiPods (KeriArentikai))

Debts of a Child Part 2 by Hauntcats (M, 111k, WangXian, YZY Bashing, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Angst and Feels, lots of anger, JC Bashing, not Jiang friendly, Angst with a Happy Ending, Content warning for icky spiders in later chapters., hurt no comfort for Jiang siblings.)

i’ll take a secondhand monster by Stratisphyre (T, 24k, MXY & WWX, MXY & JGY, LSZ & LWJ, wangxian, canon divergence, child abuse, bullying, angst w happy ending, hurt/comfort, kidfic, minor canonical character death, injured WWX, earn your happy ending) very much seconding the rec for "What Builds a Home" -- also "i'll take a secondhand monster" by the same author is a good rec for this too.

also this university AU: how to fall in love with a catfish: a guide by wei wuxian (disaster rat) by bwyn, Yuisaki (T, 54k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Actors, Multimedia, Online Friendship, Drunken Shenanigans, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Underage Drinking, Drinking Games, Families of Choice, Ensemble Cast, Fluff and Angst, Slow Burn, Catfish AU)

also passing along these two recs from others

Pocketful of Soul by Jenrose (T, 182k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, BAMF MXY, MXY Lives, Genderfluid MXY, MXY Backstory, POV MXY, If At First You Don’t Succeed Try Try Again and Again and Again, Wangxian Speedrun, times three because time travel, Found Family, Genius MXY, Genius WWX, Not particularly JGY friendly, CQL-based)

Equilateral by DangerousCommieSubversive (E, 62k, WangXianYu, MXY/XY (past), Implied XiYao, Canon Divergence, MXY Deserves Happiness, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Mental Health Issues, Ableism, Suicidal Thoughts, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Homophobia, Self-Esteem Issues, Consensual Possession, Sharing a Body, Romance, Comedy, Love Confessions, Scheming NHS, Fierce Corpse WN, Fierce Corpse SL, Post-Yi City Arc, Romantic OYZZ, Drunk LWJ, distinctly janky use of resentful energy, Dissociation, Golden Core Reveal, Genderfluid MXY, Crossdressing, Disguise, Blow Jobs, Pregnancy Kink, Mild Gore, Fierce Corpse NMJ, Courtroom Drama, Dark NHS, Capital Punishment)

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6. Hi please help with savage or bedass wei Wuxian. Powerful . Like villain get more ( every kind of) torture than wei Wuxian. I love to have every kind of ff . Just not Pitiful wei Wuxian or lan Zhan. Crazy rich bc vibes you know @richie-234

The crow on the roof by sparkly (G, 17k, WangXian, LQR & WWX, LJY & WWX, POV WWX, Established WangXian, WWX being a badass, LQR is something of a badass himself, Begrudging Mutual Respect, LJY Being LJY, Kidnapping, Minor Violence, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Snark, Forgiveness, tentative friendship)

green flame, black flute, red ribbon by Fleetling (T, 3k, pre-relatinoship wangxian, LSZ & LJY, LJY POV, wwx kills people violently and with extreme prejudice, don’t mess with lwj and/or the juniors wwx will not be pleased, Hurt/Comfort, warnings for kidnapping, intimidation using weapons, and wwx literally driving people insane and ripping them apart, OC Lan juniors, the juniors all decide that wwx can be terrifying but also is cool and fun to tease, it’s soft at the end)

pitfalls of greed by glitteringmoonlight (T, 3k, WangXian, POV Outsider, BAMF WWX, Kidnapping, Violence, YLLZ WWX, not exactly but the vibes are there, Post-Canon)

re:#6, they may want to look into the "murder husbands" trope , i don't have any recs but it sounds like that is what they want ?🩵

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7. Hi! I think this is how it works,

umm for ITMF: I’m looking for fics with good worldbuilding! AUs, Canon Divergence, anything goes (except for modern au; not my favorite.) I would also prefer if they were longer.

Thank you! @cavernofdragons

🔒 Ad Oblivione by Baph, HikariNoHimeWriter (M, 70k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, POV Multiple, Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Identity Reveal, Golden Core Reveal, Cultivation World Critical, Not JC Friendly, Abusive YZY, Angst with a Happy Ending)

💖🔒 love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, Arranged Marriage, political scheming, Gratuitous Domesticity, Mutual Pining, EXTREME SLOWBURN, the inherent eroticism of the forehead ribbon, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, neither wwx nor lwj want to be Perceived, but sorry kids! it’s gonna happen!, rated E but the the NSFW stuff doesn’t begin until chapter 19!, bottom LWJ in chapter 20 and 27, Mojo’s post)

made for each other by KouriArashi (T, 118k, JYL/NMJ, WangXian, JC/WQ, LXC/JGY, LXC & NMJ, NMJ & NHS, JC & JYL & WWX, Canon Divergence, Romance, Developing Relationship, Slow Build, Matchmaking, Mutual Pining, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Sibling Bonding, Class Issues, first half is fluffy but then, Sunshot Campaign, Canon-Typical Violence, Child Abuse, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Protective Boyfriends, Happy Ending, Not Everyone Dies)

💖 Echo, Murmur, Dream, Here by bluerainmist (M, 51k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Universe Alteration, the yiling patriarch survives, Angst with a Happy Ending, Catharsis, Slow Burn, Drama, Getting Together, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Melancholy, Love, Mutual Pining, Reunions, Love Confessions, Eventual Smut, Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, Switching, Grief/Mourning, fucking while pining, Implied/Referenced Torture, Self-Harm, golden core transfer, Playing fast and loose with worldbuilding, Battle Scenes, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, implied / Referenced suicide attempt, Sect Leader WWX, YLLZ WWX, Yílíng Wèi Sect)

🧡 like speaking to my heart by SnowshadowAO3 (T, 613k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Daemons, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canonical Character Death, Some people live!, additional warnings in specific chapters, if you don’t know what daemons are that’s ok because I explain it in the author’s note, also by slow burn I VERY much mean slow burn)

Flowers Blooming in the Dark by TheLegendOfChel (T, 64k, WangXian, Gods & Goddesses, Inspired by Hades and Persephone (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), Ancient Greek Religion & Lore Fusion, but it's still in a xianxia/wuxia setting, Pining, Mutual Pining, Courtship, Forbidden Love, Hades and Persephone AU, Kidnapping, Kind Of, Smitten LWJ, Smitten WWX, Fluff, Courting Rituals, Secret Relationship, Minor XuanLi, Minor ChengSang, references to wwx's canonical kinks, Child LSZ, Tooth-Rotting Fluff)

Twelve Moons and a Fortnight by stiltonbasket (M, 290k, WangXian, Humor, Slow Burn, Post-Canon Fix-It, Long-Distance Relationship, Epistolary, Love Letters, Family Feels, a-qing lives, teenage romance, Adoption, Romantic Comedy, Happy Ending, Weddings, Case Fic, Parenthood, Politics)

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8. In the mood for badass Huaisang. I wonder if there is fic where Huaisang would be the one who was kidnapped by Wen Ruohan during the war (instead of Nie Mingjue). It doesn't matter how Huaisang would end up in such predicament but I bet it would be amazing to read about it. I bet the things would end up quite differetly if Huaisang went toe with toe with Wen Ruohan :D (rather than hot head Mingjue). Or there doesn't even have to be kidnapping. I think we didn't get Wen Ruohan&Nie Huaisang scenes in canon or fics (not that I know of) and it's a pity.

This Time Around by KouriArashi (T, 83k, JGY & NHS, NHS & WWX, JGY & WWX, Time Travel Fix-It, Kid Fic, Families of Choice, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Politics, Class Issues, Past Child Abuse, Moral Ambiguity, Everybody Lives, Eventual Happy Ending)

Something Divine by jusrecht (T, 10k, NHS & NMJ, Canonical Character Death)

refrain; a musical phrase repeating in a song or instrumental piece Series by Cerusee, Mikkeneko (T/G, 51k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Sort Of, Memory Loss, Canon-typical dismemberment, Post-Series, but also mid-series ya feel, Changing Tenses, Protective LWJ, Everybody Lives, Confused WWX, Crack Treated Seriously)

the problem with authority by isabilightwood (M, 139k, wangxian, qingli, Canon Divergence, Sacrifice Summon, slightly dark!JYL, wq lives because i said so, Angst with a Happy Ending, Chronic Pain, Mild Sexual Content, Top/Bottom Versatile | Switch WangXian, manipulative relationship (background xiyao))

Kiss of the Rose by sami (M, 8k, NHS/OFCs, NHS & NMJ, NHS & MXY, NHS & JGY, Family, original trans female character, Falling In Love, Enemies to Lovers, but only one of them knows it at the time, Pining, Getting Together, First Time, First Kiss, NHS drinks Respect For Women juice, courting, Please read notes)

💖 With Surgical Precision by metisket (T, 20k, WQ & WN, WQ & WWX, WangXian, Time Travel, Families of Choice, sibling bonding through murder) and metisket's other fics, though NHS is a pretty minor character

while covered in mud by merthurlin (T, 12k, NHS & WWX, NHS & NMJ, NHS & Wen remnants, mentioned wangxian, canon divergence, fix-it, NHS goes farming and Hates It)

Jailbreaking by CullenBlue (T, 21k, WN & NHS, Canon Compliant, POV NHS, NHS Is A Little Shit, Cinnamon Roll WN, Fierce Corpse WN, Ghost General WN, References to Heavens Official’s Blessing, References to The Scum Villain’s Self Saving System, NHS insulting the Wen Clan’s taste in interior Decorating, Mentions of Murder, WN made a friend by talking about his childhood trauma, BAMF WN, Panic Attacks, mentions of gore, Canon-Typical Violence, Violence in the Name of Comedy, Trauma, Is NHS taking anything seriously? who knows, Bromance)

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9. Hii for itmf, do you have any fics that either A) post cannon fluff or B) time travel au's with the juniors?

9A)

A Lifetime of It (Please, and Thank You) by misscam (M, 5k, WangXian, Wedding, a mix of series and novel, Humor, Fluff, Angst, some naughtiness, Switching)

coop d'état by wolfsan11 (G, 4k, WangXian, Fluff and Humor, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Post-Canon, Chickens, WWX-centric, Post-Canon Modao Zushi Novel, Married WangXian, therapy chickens)

and i will go this way by detention_notes (T, 24k, WangXian, Romance, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Love Letters, Epistolary, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Love Confessions, Kissing, Drunken Flirting, Implied Sexual Content, Fluff and Humor, Romantic Fluff, Kissing in the Rain, Marriage)

And Yet Here You Are by cosmicmilktea (T, 10k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Domestic Fluff, Cloud Recesses, settling down, Separation Anxiety, Teacher WWX, very light angst, Chief Cultivator LWJ)

How to Keep Your Diplomatic Asset Close (and Your Wei Ying Closer) by His Excellency by misscam (M, 4k, WangXian, Getting Together, Fluff, Smut, Humor, CQL!verse, some inspiration from the novel)

If It's You by etymologyplayground (T, 1k, WangXian, Fluff, Reunions, Getting Together, Kissing, Literal Sleeping Together, Cuddling & Snuggling, Post-Canon, Sexual Tension)

Look Not With The Eyes by Spodumene (G, 28k, WangXian, Case Fic, Fluff and Humor, Love Confessions, Idiots in Love, There Was Only One Bed, Post-Canon, Canon-Typical Violence, Original Character Death(s))

9B)

And They Lived Happily Ever After… by Morgana_avalon (G, 51k, WangXian, Zhuiling, Time Travel Fix-It, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Canon Universe, Canon Related, set before the ambush happens at Qiongqi Path, Canon Divergence, Bunnies, Good brother JC, Good JZX, CQL Verse)

🔒 Forget Myself in Memories by geethr75 (T, 10k, JC& WWX, JC & JL, JL & LSZ & LJY & OYZZ, WangXian, LXC & NMJ, JYL/JZX, Junior Quartet Dynamics, Time Travel Fix-It, Juniors travel to the past, Post-Canon, Canon Divergence, double trouble, Past WWX meets future WWX in MXY’s body, Past JC meets future JC, Sect Leader JL, Sect Leader OYZZ, Sect Heir LJY, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, JGY dies as Meng Yao, SS and JZN dies, JGS dies, WQ & WN lives, JYL & JZX Lives, Canon doesn’t exist anymore, no golden core transfer, No golden core melting, The Juniors save the day, WWX saves the day too, Alternate Timelines)

Stubborn Shadows by secretlyteo (teobunn) (T, 24k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time Travel, comes in at the moment WC dies, Wangxian ducking around with their past selves, LSZ is tired and would like to go home)

Time Travel, Obviously by nirejseki (Not Rated, 1k, Time Travel, Crack)

Time, Time, Time by skeletonofaplant (G, 44k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, LSZ & WWX, JYL & JL & JZX, LJY & LSZ, Time Travel Fix-It, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Identity Porn, Identity Reveal, Angst, Fluff, Junior Quartet Dynamics, Time Travelling Junior Ensemble, Junior Ensemble Shenanigans, Humor)

❤️ Tragedy is Not the End by Hobbsy3 (T, 358k, wangxian, Time Travel, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Golden Core Reveal, Canon Divergence from Qiongqi Pass, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Yunmeng sibling bonding, good dad wwx, good dad lwj, JZX Lives, JYL Lives, Junior Quartet Dynamics)

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10. Hi! This is ITMF. I want to read a fic where LSZ and LJY are twins and their parents is WangXian. Adopterd or blood. No bottom and omega LWJ, please. Thanks! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

All The Years Lost by UseMyMuse (T, 26k, WangXian, Teen Pregnancy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Single Parent AU, Forced misunderstandings, Forced miscommunication, Mpreg)

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11. for itmf

are there any fics where post canon wwx ages and dies and lwj either follows or lives on for his legacy??? @bunnycoffeeumcat

🔒Closer Than Eternity by Netrixie (T, 26k, WangXian, Modern AU, Reincarnation, an unhealthy addiction to starbucks, Immortals, cultivation is -kinda- commonplace, Self-Doubt, POV Alternating, Minor Original Character(s), Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Temporary Character Death, Angst with a Happy Ending, not for jc fans, This is not a reconciliation fic) is what comes to mind first. It's not exactly "WWX dies/LWJ lives on" kinda thing. It plays more on Reincarnation!AU but LWJ is an immortal and is searching for WWX. Hope This Helps!!

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12. Hi! itmf wangxian fic where one or both of them turn into bunnies. Canon era. AU modern. Whatever, just, BUNBUN!!! @thegertie

Hanguang-Jun and His Beloved Pet Rabbit by 96qutie (E, 61k, WangXian, WIP, Canon Divergence, The Disabled Tyrant's Beloved Pet Fish, Rabbit WWX, Yao WWX, Demon WWX, Autistic LWJ, Neurodiversity, WWX Has ADHD, Animal Transformation, LWJ loves his rabbit with all his heart, LWJ is lonely so I'm giving him a pet, Slow Burn, Getting Together, Different First Meeting, Falling In Love, Fluff and Humor, Light Angst, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Smut, Shameless Smut) its a wip but regularly updated

🔒 and in the spring i shed my skin by wvlfqveen (T, 11k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Professors, Shapeshifter LWJ, Not Quite Necromancer WWX, Mutual Pining, WWX being an oblivious idiot, Fluff, Love Confessions, yunmeng trio, Family Feels, get JC therapy 2020, Kissing)

🔒💖 blue-ribbon bunny by cicer (G, 15k, wangxian, modern, shapeshifting, supernatural elements, fluff & humor)

heartkeeper by postingpebbles (G, 7k, WangXian, Animal Transformation, Canon Divergence, no war au!!, Shapeshifting, light convos abt the jiang family dynamic, wwx draws a lot and talks to a rabbit: the fic, former threadfic!!, Fantasy)

it’s you, it was always you by myung (G, 7k, WangXian, Supernatural Elements, Bunny LWJ, Mutual Pining, Light Angst, WQ Lives, Spanish Translation Available, wen siblings are alive because i love them and i have no excuse, Mojo's post)

Lost and Found by diamondbruise (E, 52k, WangXian, Modern AU, Aliens, Slow Burn, Alien LWJ, Crack Treated Seriously, Soulmates, Kid Fic…..kind of, i use that tag very loosely, Masturbation, Rough Sex, canon typical cnc elements, Happy Ending)

Tales From Bunny Mountain by telarna (G, 5k, wangxian, JL/LSZ, JL&WWX, so many bunnies, lan buns, Tales From Bunny Mountain [Podfic] by esbielle)

the soft animal of your body by sysrae (T, 15k, WangXian, modern cultivation, Golden Core Reveal, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Animal Transformation, Shapeshifting, Getting Together, Confessions)

Tie Your Heartstring Up Tight by athena_crikey (M, 54k, WangXian, Magic, Canon Era, Shamanism, Animal Transformation, Drama, Mystery, Investigation, Falling In Love, First Kiss, h/c, Fever, Sacrifice) Wei Wuxian is a hare in this one; great worldbuilding but not soft and fuzzy

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13. Hello! ITMF Wei Wuxian having a harem and/or a lot of suitors? I am comfortable with poly fics or if he ends up with just one person. I want to read about him being the flirt / stallion that all the rumors say he is! Thank you!

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14. Looking for fics with sad, lonely or depressed Wei Wuxian

Already read Farewell My Concubine and Concord and that’s the level of emotional damage I’m looking for

Thank you so much in advance @kanrax-blog

A Marriage Alliance with a Summer Wedding, Anyone? by Herlilacskies (Not Rated, 146k, WangXian, WIP, Arranged Marriage, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Hurt Eventual Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, three years post-Sunshot Campaign, not including years of war, Wedding, LWJ is Bad at Communicating, WWX is Bad at Communicating, WWX is Not Okay, LWJ Loves WWX, WWX is a Mess, in that he's deeply unwell, LWJ is a Mess, LWJ is a Panicked Gay, Mental Instability, Mental Health Issues, unstable WWX)

Discarded by teawater (E, 187k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Dying Lan children, Hurt/Comfort, YL WWX, Golden Core Reveal, Case Fic, Depression, Family Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Worth Issues, Angst with a Happy Ending, and it’s not always dark, POV Multiple, BAMF WWX, dubious morals in the Lan sect Feels, Pining, Grief, Fix-It, BAMF LWJ)

💖 nothing you confess by PorcupineGirl (T, 31k, WangXian, Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, POV Alternating, Golden Core Reveal, Depressed WWX, WWX Has PTSD, JC & LWJ Friendship, friendship may be too strong a word more like allies who are gonna love the shit outta post-burial-mounds WWX whether he likes it or not, Hurt/Comfort, Recovery)

🔒🧡 rain falls and soaks into the earth series by RoseThorne (T, 60k, WangXian, WIP, Near Death, Depression, Psychological Trauma, Justice, Fear, Angst, No War AU, Attempted Murder, Bad Parent YZY, POV Third Person, POV LXC, Podfic Available, Hurt/Comfort, Crying, Romantic Gestures, Recovery, POV LWJ, Trauma, Dissociation, Courtship, Courting Rituals, Eventual Happy Ending, Panic Attacks, Vomiting, Protective Siblings, Soup, Triggers, Protective LWJ, Protective LQR, Yúnmèng Siblings Dynamics, reference to poisoning, reference to assassination, Reference to chronic illness, reference to infanticide, Minor Injuries, Painting, Gift Giving, WWX Has a Fear of Dogs, Good Sibling JC, Good Sibling JYL, BAMF WWX, Jealous SS, WWX Protection Squad)

Rebirth of a Wretched Mayfly by marikazz (M, 15k, WangXian, Time Loop, Time Travel, Groundhog Day, Suicidal Thoughts, Violence, Not Really Character Death, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Mental Health Issues, Trust Issues, Hurt WWX, Miscommunication, Heavy Angst, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Whump, Feelings Realization, WWX is Not Okay, Mental Breakdown, Canon-Typical Violence, Existential Angst, Dissociation, Suicide, Angst with a Happy Ending, Misunderstandings, POV WWX)

💖 (Un)Hidden truth by Sarah_R (M, 291k, wangxian, major character death, time travel, characters watching their show, suicide attempt, panic attacks, self-harm, nightmares, hurt/comfort, angst, WIP)

Possible Works 2 - Numb by Hauntcats (M, 6k, WangXian, Angst with a Happy Ending, unhappy wwx, Time Travel Fix-It)

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15. Hi, thankyou for your hard work 🙌🏻

may i ask you to rec me some wangxian canon fics which have slow burn, angst and of course a happy ending.

If it's a/b/o then also it'll be great. ( I'm in a mood for some omegaverse fics as well )

I prefer top lwj and bottom wwx.

Thankyou 🫶🏻 @bluepinks-world

Linger by the Door (I’ve Always Been Yours) by piecrust (T, 78k, wangxian, slow burn, canon compliant) not sure I'm understanding the "canon" request, e.g. if OP is looking more for "missing scenes" style fit-in-between-events-of-canon fic. But here's a fic about them getting together post-(TV show)-canon

denumerable by chinxe (T, 7k, wangxian, canon compliant, pining, miscommunication, hurt/comfort, scar-kissing) oh here's a missing-scenes-style fic

~*~

16. Hi, so is it possible to find a fic about Lan wangji being OOC, and him traveling back in time and this time around gets to know more about wwx and its just bashing The Jiang family? And saving wwx from them? @devotedlyannoyingcupcake

🔒💖 Resilience. by Vrishchika (T, 7k, WangXian, Time Travel, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, Not JC Friendly, Self-Indulgent)

🔒 Something is wrong with A-Zhan! by HeloSoph (M, 15k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Sort Of, Dark LWJ, Morally Gray WWX, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, WWX Isn't Adopted by the Jiangs, WWX is a Lan, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, JC Bashing, Smitten LWJ, Possessive LWJ, Engaged WangXian, Blood and Violence, a lot of people die, LQR Metaphorically Qi-Deviates, because of, Shameless LWJ, LQR Tries, to fit into the following tag, Good Uncle LQR, Semi-Public Sex, or at least wangxian's version of it, Scheming NHS, POV NHS)

I Have Arranged to Tie You to Me by xxxMiaHikarixxx (G, 82k, WIP, WangXian, Lan protective team, Time Travel, Past, LWJ oriented, Arranged Marriage, Boys In Love, Soulmates, Fix-It, Jiang siblings, not jiang parents friendly, JC is slowly becoming a good sibling, Soft LWJ, Protective LWJ, Genius WWX)

🔒 The Second Hand Unwinds by trulywicked (E, 64k, WangXian, JYL/JZX, WIP, Time Travel Fix-It, Not JC Friendly, Not Yunmeng Jiang Sect Friendly, Not Jiāng Family Friendly, Not YZY Friendly, Time Travelling LWJ, Protective LWJ, Fluff, Minor Angst, Minor Character Death, JGS is his own warning, Wooing, LWJ is romantic af, Inventor WWX, Genius WWX, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Protective Gusu Lan Sect, Supportive LXC, Good Uncle LQR, WWX Protection Squad)

~*~

17. Hi! I hope everyone is having a great day

Today itmf meng Yao becoming an amazing lan-furen and wwx being lan-er-furen as well

Thanks!

and here I am, softer than a shower (and here I am, to garland you with flowers) by Ariaste (T, 7k, LXC/JGY, WangXian, JGY & WWX, Family Bonding, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Modern, Established Relationship, Nice Lan Boys Marry Gremlins, Slice of Life, tense family dinners, sajiao for great justice, dedicated to the xiyao troll, seriously this one's tooth-rotting fluff you guys) the whole series, really, but this is the first one that really focuses on their status as Lan in-laws (Meng Yao is definitely winning the "best son-in-law" award, Wei Ying doesn't even contest it lol)

The Wild Geese’s Tomb by The Feels Whale (miscellea) (T, 66k, WangXian, Time Travel AU, fixit, Temporary Character Death, all women live no women die, LWJ’s canonically intense feelings about everything all the time, WWX’s clinical depression gets treated and blamed on resentful energy, navigating gay marriage in ancient china by utiliizing class snobbery for your own ends, if you’re not sure whose fault anything going on in here is then blaming NHS is probably a good bet, WWX plays ‘summon LWJ’ it’s super effective!, the ‘unexploded cow’ approach to dealing with your enemies) maybe also these two? they focus mostly on the events leading up to the marriage(s) but there's focus on Meng Yao (and wwx) being assets to the Lan clan, especially the Twin Jades

can't find a way home by KouriArashi (M, 109k, WangXIan, JC & JYL, JC & JYL & LWJ, LXC/JGY, WQ & WWX, JYL/JZX, JC/WQ, Canon Divergence, Angst, Family, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Politics, Family Feels, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Developing Relationship, Canon-Typical Violence, canon-typical political bullshit, Mental Health Issues, Eventual Happy Ending, Descriptions of suicide, (caused by dark magic)) maybe also these two? they focus mostly on the events leading up to the marriage(s) but there's focus on Meng Yao (and wwx) being assets to the Lan clan, especially the Twin Jades

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[vixensbrainrotts]

Ran fucked up

Summary: so you found out that Ran is sorta-kinda using you for information, money and material for Tenjiku and took revenge before the damage was too heavy. Come the time when Ran was supposed to display results, he has some explaining to do…

Tropes: Tenjiku! Arc

Content warnings: none really, this time around its just kinda cracky, implied intentional accidents i guess? Idk let me know if there’s anything

Vixen’s two cents: I saw that prompt and JUMPED on the opportunity cause i had a silly little idea (lets pretend im not writing this in my theory of evolution lecture right now). This is such a funny prompt to me, I hope you enjoy. Prompt taken from @the-cypress-grove - prompt 131 (thank youuuuu) Remember that my requests are open if you have any ideas!

Rindou has never seen his older brother this nervous- actually, this is the first time he’s seen him nervous, ever. The man in question was pacing (to the best of his efforts) restlessly, and it was driving Rin insane. „It‘s your fault, you know?“ Rindou quipped from where he was sitting. „And you’re not fucking helping. Izana is going to rip me apart, if i survive Kakucho that is.“ Ran mutters more to himself than to his brother.

Rolling his eyes, Rindou decides that he has to take control of the situation. „Come on Ran, its best to get it over with fast, perhaps they’ll pity you because of your… state right now.“ Rindou makes his way to the door, shrugging on a cardigan and taking the keys out of the little dish by the door. The look that Ran gives him almost ignites a little bit of pity in Rindou. Almost.

20 minutes later the two of them are standing in front of the place of meeting and Ran is sweating bullets. „Come on..“ Rindou drawled again. Offended, Ran throws him a look „You’re not the one who’s about to get mauled.“ Ran crows in slight pain, but Rindou spared no sympathy, „Your fault.“ Rindou was the first to enter the area donning the heavenly kings‘s presence. He silently greet his colleagues with a curt wave, but felt a little puzzled when he didn’t receive one in return. The confused looks on their faces were almost comedic before Rindou noticed the distinct lack of brother by his side.

Rindou heaved a sigh and half-turns to face the entrance again, gesturing to the door for the Heavenly Kings to see. „He‘s coming, don’t worry.“ He assured and trudged on towards his place.

„Sit down Haitani.“ a sharp voice pierced the air as Izana spoke. A shiver ran down Rindou‘s spine, and all of a sudden he understood his brother‘s fear: Izana was scary as such, and blatantly terrifying when disappointed. Quickly, Rindou took a seat beside Mochi. Silence reigned after that. Not a word was spoken, not a breath was taken whilst they waited for Ran to enter.

Finally the tension broke when Ran walked through the door, his head low and limping slightly. „Were ya roughed up or something?“ Shion was the first to speak. „Well..“ Ran sounded a bit defeated as his voice trailed off, remaining standing at a respectable distance. „You’re here. And late at that.“, Izana‘s voice freezes the air as he speaks, „I hope for your sake that your little project proves to be as useful as you made it sound.“ Ran tries very hard to look anywhere but the Kings, instead trying to make eye-contact with his brother, but Rindou only raises his hands slightly in surrender and shoots him a look that says you brought yourself into this mess, im not gonna help you on this one.

„Do tell Ran. How‘s your little girlfriend doing, hm? Are you treating her well? Is the good service paying off? She give you somethin‘ yet?“ Shion has the gall to poke at Ran, stacking questions on him in a singsong tone. Despite the almost joking nature of the questions, they hang heavy in the air.

„I don’t think she likes me all that much right now.“ Ran finally says.

„What makes you think that?“ Kakucho is the one to speak this time, noticing Izana's annoyance and grasping the reigns of the conversation. Whilst he sounds genuinely concerned, Kakucho‘s half-blind eye does nothing to make Ran feel more comfortable, as he visibly shrinks beneath his gaze.

„She founded out.“ Ran breaks the news in a whisper, and the air around them changes into something much more alive, and much more electric. „What.“ Kakucho‘s voice is loud in stark contrast.

„She hit me with her car.“ Ran shrinks even further into himself when the guys surrounding him laugh. „Clever Girl!“ Shion quips between heaves of laughter, bracing himself against an also-snickering-Mucho who adds „What if it was an accident?“. Ran only shakes his head, face and neck ablaze with red as he puffs himself up against the humiliation. „She looked me dead in the eye and reversed!“ Laughter bounces off the walls once again.

[chobani-flip]

nicknames and terms of endearment @bucktommypositivityweek eddie pov, eddie is a good supportive friend, a teensy bit cracky? maybe?

___

"did you know that calling someone a silly pig in cantonese is a term of endearment?" says buck, having secured his phone in the inside pocket of his turnouts.

they're on their way to a four-car pile-up on the freeway and it's just buck and eddie from their usual crowd in the cabin with chim and hen having gone ahead in the smaller ambulance car.

thompson and mckenna give him blank looks while eddie huffs out a loud breath and settles in to follow whatever tangent brewed up inside buck while he'd been staring at his screen in between the calls.

"french people call their loved ones cabbage," offers gerig, their new probie, uncertainly, slowly trailing off at mckenna's widened eyes and minute headshakes.

"do not encourage him," thompson mouths and eddie has to pretend to be stroking his mustache as he tries to hide his grin. they should know by now that buck needs no encouragement.

it's only been a week since he stopped following up every mention of tommy with "you know, my boyfriend", so eddie figures this is a natural development. though to be fair to buck and his heart-eyes, sometimes the "boyfriend" was louder than necessary with a significant side-eye in gerrard's direction.

"i know! i was just reading about it!" buck says, tapping at the cell in his turnouts. "it's so weird! but it shouldn't be! we say 'baby' and 'honey' and 'sweetiepie' and i was just thinking: why? because yeah, babies are cute but they're babies. and honey and pie are sweet but cavities aren't fun. so..."

eddie sees mckenna throw a slightly desperate look towards the front seat, and remembers that he's always been a bit of an asshole, but their 'captain' has somehow managed to fall asleep between the alarm, clambering into their turnouts and inside the truck, the siren, and the manouvering on the road. again. eddie makes a mental note to up the number on the new complaint form he's got sitting on his tablet at home. hopefully, they'll be rid of him before gerrard falls asleep holding a megaphone next to a construction fire with their crew still inside.

"so have you finished the graph yet?" eddie asks and enjoys both buck's delighted grin and mckenna's look of horror. because he knows buck. of course there's a graph in the works.

"not yet! but it seems that across languages people use things that are valuable like precious metals or gemstones very often, and then body parts or like, you know, 'my heart' 'my soul'. and then there's fruits and vegetables, like the cabbage in french, or melon in mandarin, and animals like cat, bear, mouse or rabbit."

"could you send me a link to the jstor article?" asks gerig, the probie, bringing the conversation to a halt. "or, i mean, wherever you got the research," he continues, nervously, shooting nervous glances at the dangerous looks buck, thompson and mckenna are throwing him. though buck's the most predatory of them all. "my sister keeps talking about jstor when she complains about all the essay writing she needs to do, so i thought that's what everyone used for research."

"so it's just for college students?" there's a bit of a whine in buck's voice, and eddie stretches his leg to give his ankle a commiserating tap with his boot.

gerig shakes his head, and buck's face brightens.

"i think some library cards give you access as well. or you can pay for it yourself, but callie says it's really expensive."

"jstor, jstor," buck mumbles to himself, tapping at his cell inside his done-up turnouts, and craning his neck to check the screen of the navigation at the front for their eta.

"i can remind you when we get back?" gerig suggests, tucking his legs further under him to avoid the kicks from mckenna and thompson.

"thanks, probie!" buck's smile is all sunshine. "you know, i bet they have something on the mandarin gege and korean oppa. because like, i know it's not really weird for them, that it's not actually like calling your lover your older brother, not really or whatever, but-"

eddie snorts.

"what?!"

"glass houses, buckaroo," eddie says, remembering the last time he caught a glimpse of the contact name on buck's screen when he was facetiming tommy during downtime and learned more about their relationship and sex life than he strictly wanted to. buck frowns at him, so he taps at his own inside pocket and gestures with his chin, enjoying the realization spread red across buck's cheekbones.

"that's not- that's a- that's different..." he trails off. "or is it? oh! that's interesting. i wonder if-"

and then the truck's jerking to a halt, and gerrard's barking: "what? what! are we there yet? well, go! go! get out! get to work!"

and then they're all climbing out of the truck, getting the jaws and rushing to help out chim and hen with the injured.

after the ambulances leave and they settle back into the truck, eddie watches buck pull out his phone and start tapping away.

"jay store... is that without the e, probie? right, yeah, got it...oooooh"

eddie leans his head against the window and wonders when buck's gonna decide to share his upcoming academic research on daddy kink with the whole 118 and their decrepit captain, and whether that might count as a murder attempt.

___

author's note: i don't believe ive seen our evan buckley introduced to jstor or other catalogues like this in fic and i think that's kinda criminal. fanon buck loves to research all kinds of niche shit, and he'd enjoy the fuck out of reading academic papers and then quoting macshay et al in people's faces.

[tinymehilainen]

this is mostly just cracky, but under the cut for being slightly NSFW. text message format, not explicit.

[23:55] My Bojan: hello sexy man

[23:57] Jerč: hi bojan 😍

[23:58] My Bojan: what r u doign

[23:58] Jerč: watching tv i miss many episodes of salkkarit this week

[23:59] My Bojan: okay okay can u send me pics

[23:59] Jerč: my bojan are you drunk 🤭🤭🤭

[00:00] My Bojan: mabye

[00:01] My Bojan: pics? 👀👀👀

[00:02] Jerč: [photo]

[00:02] My Bojan: fukc yes

[00:02] My Bojan: ur so fuking hot

[00:03] Jerč: you want more? 👀🤭🤫

[00:03] My Bojan: YES

[00:04] Jerč: [photo]

[00:04] My Bojan: damn

[00:05] My Bojan: so good

[00:05] My Bojan: so fucking good

[00:06] My Bojan: can u take ur cloths off plaes

[00:06] My Bojan: can i see

[00:07] Jerč: what you want see?

[00:07] My Bojan: everthing jere

[00:08] Jerč: this?

[00:08] Jerč: [photo]

[00:09] My Bojan: yeS tits in

[00:09] My Bojan: my mouth plase

[00:10] Jerč: and this?

[00:10] Jerč: [photo]

[00:11] My Bojan: ohh almomst hard

[00:11] My Bojan: also mouth pleas

[00:12] My Bojan: please

[00:12] Jerč: what about this?

[00:12] Jerč: [photo]

[00:13] My Bojan: dinner for me

[00:13] My Bojan: all night i eat

[00:14] My Bojan: so soft i '?m gonna bite

[00:14] Jerč: ouch

[00:15] My Bojan: you like

[00:15] Jerč: maybe 🤫🤫

[00:16] My Bojan: bite

[00:16] My Bojan: bite

[00:16] My Bojan: bite

[00:17] Jerč: don't bite my whole ass away

[00:17] My Bojan: 🤯

[00:17] My Bojan: dotn worry i m not eatibg away. i dont swallow.

[00:18] Jerč: hmm i think you do.. 😈😈

[00:18] My Bojan: no i m not eating ur ass away and swallow it?? i need it tomrow too

[00:19] Jerč: silly bojan

[00:19] Jerč: something else for you swallow.. 👀🤭🤫

[00:19] My Bojan: oh

[00:21] My Bojan: OH

[00:21] My Bojan: YES

[00:21] My Bojan: show again?

[00:22] Jerč: [photo]

[00:22] My Bojan: fuking thrsty i drink it

[00:23] My Bojan: dinner and drink for me

[00:23] Jerč: where are you?

[00:23] My Bojan: in jan

[00:24] Jerč: what?!!!

[00:24] My Bojan: jan house

[00:24] Jerč: all the joker boys there?

[00:25] My Bojan: ye a other room

[00:25] My Bojan: they know im texting u 🤭 i thnk they kno

[00:25] Jerč: i stop?

[00:30] Jerč: Bojan?

[00:35] My Bojan: they put me in bed

[00:36] My Bojan: they said i cnt stay in jans bathroom for 30 minutes to sext

[00:36] My Bojan: i tjink i can adn they r jelous

[00:37] My Bojan: call now?

[00:37] Jerč: maybe not good idea when you are drunk in jans bed

[00:38] My Bojan: more pics?

[00:38] Jerč: i think you sleep now

[00:38] My Bojan: jere plas

[00:39] Jerč: i come see you in dream?

[00:39] My Bojan: u can do that¿?!

[00:39] Jerč: yes when you are sleeping

[00:39] My Bojan: i will

[00:40] My Bojan: be naked in dream ok

[00:40] Jerč: okei

[00:40] My Bojan: see u soon

[00:41] Jerč: sleep well my love ❤️❤️❤️

[diminuel]

Ok so, I know you are luxuriating in OP atm (and good for you! Enjoy all the inrichment a new fandom brings!!) but had a cracky yet I want it thought:

We are actually acknowledging the terrible finale for a sec. And Post Dean's Death, Sam purposely loses touch with the hunting community and just has his kid and lives his life as Dean Jr's dad. But! Something happens, he has to tell Dean (the 2nd? jr? DJ Winchester?) about monster blah blah family business when Dean 2 (the sequel) is older, think late teens. And once Dean II is an adult he starts hunting on his own in secret something something it’s in his blood/the family business something something son rebelling against his father with this Dean running to hunting the way Sam ran away etc. and tho Sam talks about monsters he still doesn’t tell all the details because it makes the punchline funnier, I mean Sam has trauma and it’s to hard to talk about the people he’s lost by name

Anyway! Dean Winchester the Younger brings home his partner to meet his dad, and it’s a coming out. No not telling his dad he's queer, Sam and Dean the Alive had that convo when the kid was 14 and it was very nice, no this is New Dean bringing home his boyfriend AND hunting partner- Castiel Fitzgerald

it’s Destiel 2 baby, the Squeakquel, now featuring Werewolf Castiel

(maybe Dean Son Of Sam gets bitten by a vampire and turns and it’s now a Vampire/Werewolf paring too)

Oh, I do like how you say it. Yes, I am luxuriating in One Piece!

But this, despite the terrible finale mention, is also enrichment for me! *lol* I think most of us have had this thought, it is inevitable.

(And I am totally up to drawing more Supernatural, especially if it's silly. *throws this comic at you*)

Awkward.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

I LEAVE YOU

Synopsis: “Mispronounced words. He had mispronounced one of the simplest words in the English language, and it had led to all of this.” (Also know as Inumaki Toge Tries To Tell You He Loves You, But It All Goes Terribly Wrong)

JJK Masterlist

Pairing: Inumaki x Reader

Chapter Word Count: 5.3k

Content Warnings: crack fic, secondhand embarrassment, miscommunication, mentions of sex toys/fetishes (non-explicit), megumi deserves damage pay, probably not lore-compliant, not at all to be taken seriously, characters are probably ooc tbh

A/N: i posted this literally two years ago on ao3 and it just occurred to me to put it on here LMAOAO anyways i obv wrote this a long time ago and it’s the most unserious ridiculous thing ever so please don’t judge me based on this fluffy goofy silly cracky nonsense i promise I’m better now!!

divider credits: @/benkeibear

The first emotion that spiked through you when you heard that the second years were back from their mission was relief. None of them were dead; anything else, you could deal with.

You had rushed to the infirmary, ignoring Nobara’s snickers. She alone knew who you was sprinting to see — your feelings for a certainupperclassman were highly secret, of course, but somehow she had found out, and of course she had, because she was Kugisaki Nobara, and nothing could really be kept secret from her for very long.

She had been urging you to do something, to make a move, citing that it “wasn’t like he had a lot of girls interested in him, anyways,” but you had always been too shy. You weren’t sure that you could handle a rejection, and it was hard to tell whether he was interested in you or just polite.

But your fear did not stop you from skidding to a stop in front of Shoko, giving her a wide-eyed stare, patiently waiting for her to tell you what was wrong with your friends.

“Did you need something?” she said. Obviously, her cursed technique had nothing to do with reading minds, but you still scowled at her for not knowing what you were thinking.

“The second years. Are…are they alright?” you said. She frowned, and this was your first clue that there was something less than alright going on with the trio.

“Well, they’re not permanently hurt, no,” she said. You sighed in relief — this was more than you could’ve hoped for. The curse that they had been sent to fight was obviously a strong one, and more than that, it was wily, with a rumored arsenal of techniques far beyond what you could even comprehend.

“That’s good,” you said.

“It is. They’ll all make a full recovery; Maki and Panda were barely impacted, anyways,” she said. Your blood ran cold at the name she didn’t mention.

“And Inumaki?” you said. If something had happened to him…you weren’t sure what you’d do. Probably cry. A lot.

“He’s fine, just a bit shocked. See, the curse managed to take his cursed energy from him, so until that’s been replenished, he’s just a normal person,” she said.

“Huh?” you said. “What does that mean?”

“Why don’t you just ask him yourself?” she said, ushering you into the infirmary, “I know that’s why you’re really here.”

Maki and Panda were nowhere to be found, and Shoko groaned, muttering about irresponsible children and telling you she’d be back with her patients in tow once more. This left you alone in the room with Inumaki Toge — at once your biggest dream and greatest fear.

You did not speak for the first few moments, far too nervous to open your mouth. He was buried in a mountain of pillows and blankets, soft blond hair falling in his violet eyes as he flipped through the pages of a book. His zipped up collar was nowhere to be seen; he only wore a plain white t-shirt, leaving his snake-fang seals visible. You had always thought they were pretty, so then your nerves were overtaken by infatuation with the elegant markings. The end result was the same: when Inumaki looked up, it was to you awkwardly standing in the room and watching him read.

“Hello,” he said. This made you pause and think.

“Hi?” you said.

“How are you doing?” he said. Now you really were confused.

“Not that I’m complaining, but can’t you…not speak?” you said. He set his book on his nightstand and sat up with a heavy sigh.

“Normally, I can’t. But as of right now, I can. That’s the effect of that curse we fought. I have the most cursed energy out of the three of us second years, so it drained mine, which means I’m unable to use my technique until my energy’s built up again. Shoko estimates it’ll be about a week,” he said.

“Oh!” you said. So Inumaki had one week of talking normally before he would be back to his usual limited speech. You wondered what he would think to say.

You had met Inumaki on your first day at Jujutsu Tech. He had helped you find your dorm room and then, via text, warned you about Gojo’s antics. Your crush had been born the very same day. He was so beautiful and kind that it was almost a no-brainer, really; though he could only speak in rice ball components, you didn’t even care. You found solace in swooning at him from afar, and every conversation you had ever had with him since then was filed away in a special corner of your mind, played on repeat whenever you were bored.

Nobara thought you were crazy when she found out, asking you if you had an ingredients fetish and then teasing you for a solid day by moaning tuna in your ear whenever she saw you. She only stopped because you started crying and begged Fushiguro’s Divine Dogs to chase her away if she got too close. The dogs were friendly enough and obliged, though you had had to buy Fushiguro several bags of candy for his troubles.

You could hear her voice in your ear right now as you stared at Inumaki, though it was thankfully not her moaning ingredients but rather her insisting that you say something. It was so easy; now, at least, he could reject you properly, with words instead of helpless frustration and a long-winded text about how you were nice, really, but he just thought of you as an annoying friend who didn’t leave him alone, and anyways, why would he ever like you?

“Can I tell you something?” he said before you could ask to do the same. Privately, you were relieved at this, for it meant you could procrastinate your confession a little further.

“What’s up?” you said, a small, childish hope arising in you that maybe, just maybe, this was it. Maybe he’d confess first, and then things would be very simple indeed. You allowed yourself to feel excitement building at this prospect.

“I…oh, man, how do I do this?” he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, a flush rising over his pale cheeks. “Ah, shit, I’ve spent my whole life wishing I could speak and having so many things to say but not the words to say them, and now that I finally can talk, I just don’t even know what to say.”

“It’s alright. You can take your time, I don’t mind,” you said politely. And you didn’t mind — whatever he had to say, you would wait around for years if you needed to in order to hear it. He ran a hand through his hair.

“I’ll just come out with it, then!” he said, nodding determinedly before locking eyes with you, “I leave you.”

It suddenly felt like you were underwater, ears ringing. Your throat choked, and pathetic, childish tears blurred your vision. He was leaving. Inumaki, for whatever reason, was leaving. And not only was he leaving, he was leaving you in specific.

“R-really?” you said, forcing a smile, though you knew it was awfully unconvincing. “Did I do something wrong?”

“What?” He seemed embarrassed, now, averting his eyes, “No, why would you think that?”

“Well, you just said…” you trailed off helplessly.

“Oh. I thought you would be happy,” he said, his voice quiet, small, ashamed. He looked almost brokenhearted, though why he would be feeling hurt about this development, you could not be sure. He was the one making the choice to leave; you were the one fated to stay behind.

“Why would I be happy about that?” you said. He was dejected when he spoke next.

“Never mind. I don’t…I don’t know what I was thinking,” he said.

“I’ll still support you,” you said, steeling yourself to flash him a watery smile, “I hope we can still be friends.”

“Yes! Yes, please, please, I know I messed up by telling you this, but I don’t want us to stop being friends,” he said.

“I’m glad you told me, though. I’d rather not be left in the dark. Have you told anyone else yet?” you said.

“No, though I’m sure Panda suspects it,” he said before shifting uncomfortably to pull his blankets up and hide his face, “Can you, um, go? I want some time alone.”

“Right,” you said, “I’m glad you’re not hurt permanently.”

As you left, you thought you heard sniffles coming from the lump under the blanket, but if he really was crying, he gave you no other indication of it. You thought of lingering, of comforting him and asking him to comfort you, demanding he tell you the reason for his departure, but it was not your place. So, biting the inside of your cheek to hold your tears back, you marched towards Nobara’s dorm.

“He told you he’s leaving you?” she said, ten minutes later once you had explained to her the entire story. “How odd. And he hasn’t told anyone he’s transferring yet? Not even Gojo or Principal Yaga?”

“No,” you said, finding solace in her warm embrace, the scent of roses that wafted off of her skin, “I just don’t understand why he’s going.”

“It’s so strange. I mean, I really thought he liked you! Although, maybe he does. Think about it, you’re the first person he’s told, so clearly he trusts you a lot!” she said.

“You don’t have to lie to make me feel better,” you said, “Regardless as to his reasons, it remains that he’s leaving me. At least he said we can still be friends, though.”

“Wait!” she said, and there was a conniving smirk on her face that spelled trouble, “I have an idea. Let’s throw a surprise going-away-party for him! Even if you don’t confess, at least it’ll show you care about him. And maybe we’ll be able to figure out why he’s leaving and where he’s going, too.”

“We have to do it before the end of the week, then, that’s when Shoko estimates his cursed energy will be back to normal and he won’t be able to talk anymore,” you said.

“I doubt you’d be complaining about that, Miss Ingredients Fetish,” Nobara said.

“I don’t have a fetish for ingredients!” you said, wriggling out of her hug and glaring at her.

“Oh, really? So you won’t get all hot and bothered if I say ‘salmon,’ right?” she said.

“No!”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Nobara, I’ve never been surer of anything in my life,” you said.

“Salmon,” she said, panting dramatically and clutching her chest. You threw a pillow at her, knocking her off of the bed in a fit of laughter.

“You suck,” you said.

“You swallow,” she shot back.

“Ugh! You’re hopeless!” you said, throwing your hands in the air.

“I’ll text the group chat to make plans for the party!” she said. You gave her the finger and stomped out of her room to go sit in your own and mope about the fact that Inumaki was leaving.

Really, this was probably a good thing. After all, with him gone, you didn’t have to worry about him accidentally finding out about your crush. And maybe you’d even be able to move on, though you had no idea who at this school would measure up to Inumaki.

Nobara’s plan was sound, though. A going away party would be perfect to wish him one final farewell — provided, of course, that you were able to keep it a secret from the boy. This was easier said than done, but you were determined. You would make Inumaki’s party an occasion to remember, but this meant you had to call in some help.

The first thing you did the next day was video call Okkotsu, who was currently in Africa, training with a sorcerer named Miguel. You had to track down Maki and beg her for his number; she had been very confused but had given it to you anyways.

This left you staring at your phone screen, praying he would pick up. Inumaki and Okkotsu were best friends, so it would be wrong to not tell the black-haired sorcerer about your plans. He also might have some insight as to where Inumaki was going and why he was leaving.

“Hello?” Thankfully, Okkotsu picked up, looking extraordinarily confused. There were dark circles under his eyes and a katana strapped to his back. Despite the fact that he looked battle ready, he was just sitting on a couch and shoving chips in his mouth. “Who is this?”

“Okkotsu, sir! This is Y/N, I’m one of the first years at Jujutsu Tech,” you said.

“Okay. Don’t call me sir, it’s weird and I’m only a year older than you. Is there a reason you’re calling me?” he said.

“Yes, there is. See, Inumaki —” you began before he cut you off.

“Ohhh, you’re that Y/N! Yeah, yeah, I completely approve,” he said.

“Did Nobara already tell you?” you said.

“No, Inumaki’s been telling me about this for months now! Who’s Nobara?” he said.

“Months? But we didn’t even start planning until yesterday,” you said.

“He’s been dreaming of this day since the beginning of the year, even video called me and everything! I don’t think I’ve heard him say ‘salmon’ as many times in a row ever before or since,” he said. Unbidden, you remembered Nobara’s actions from yesterday and shivered before shaking your head to clear such thoughts from your mind.

“Do you know why he…you know?” you said. If Inumaki really had been planning on leaving for so long, then certainly Okkotsu would know why. The boy hummed and nodded.

“Yeah, for sure! But it’s a little weird if I say it, you know? Against the bro code or whatever, and it’d feel a bit too much like I was trying to slide in, which I’m not! Just ask him, I’m sure he’ll be delighted to tell you. God, he must be so happy right now! I wish I could be there to see it,” he said.

“Well, that’s actually why I called you. I’m throwing a surprise party in honor of the occasion, and I was wondering if you’d be able to come, or at least video call in,” you said. Each word Okkotsu uttered was like a stab in the heart, further reinforcing the fact that Inumaki really, really, really didn’t like you. Why else did he make plans to leave the literal day he had met you? You only wished he would’ve gone sooner so that your feelings did not build up and compound from a simple admiration into something greater, something beautiful and untouchable yet twisted and cruel.

“Sounds like a great time! Just video call me, I’ll be sure to pick up. And I’ll try to send something along as a gift, too! Damn, I know it’s not my news to be excited for, but it feels as though my heart’s going to burst!” he said, popping a final chip into his mouth before hanging up. You stared at the phone’s black screen for a second, marvelling at how this short conversation had made you feel even worse about the status of your relationship with Inumaki.

Before, you had believed that the two of you were friends, at least. You both had gotten along well enough — you would train together and slip each other notes with book recommendations. He had told you his favorite restaurant and described exactly the meal you should order, and you had introduced him to your favorite television series. Yet with the latest revelations that your discussion with Okkotsu had brought about, it was clear that all of this was Inumaki doing the bare minimum to tolerate you until the day he could leave.

Maybe he was glad that he could speak, if only for a short time. It allowed him to tell you in no uncertain terms that he was going away. If only he had elaborated back then! If only he had said that he felt such a way about you from the very start instead of leading you on with candy-sweet platitudes and feigned affection.

With Okkotsu’s presence now confirmed (and a gift apparently on the way), you moved on to the next thing you had to do in order to prepare for the party: recruit the other second years.

You decided to start with Maki. Though she was seemingly brusque, she was also a caring girl, and you knew she’d be thrilled to help throw a farewell party for one of her closest friends, even if she had not known he was leaving until just now.

As expected, she was properly enraged upon hearing the news.

“He’s leaving? Leaving where, exactly? The only place he’ll be going is hell, because I’m about to punch him so hard that that’s where he’ll end up!” she said, balling her fists, a vein popping in her forehead.

“Woah, hey, Maki! I don’t know where he’s going, but please don’t confront him. I don’t think he wants people knowing, and I want the party to be a surprise. He might get suspicious if he realizes that you know,” you said.

“Stupid idiot, won’t even tell his own classmates that he’s going,” she muttered, “I’ll keep your secret. But I will be committing violence at the party.”

“Please don’t!” you said, distressed at the thought, “I want him to have a fun final memory of Jujutsu Tech.”

Her eyes softened when she looked at you, and she nodded begrudgingly. “Alright. Your secret, and your party, are safe with me. I won’t tell a soul! Although, you know…a surprise farewell party would be a great place to confess your feelings.”

“How — how do you know about my feelings?” you said.

“Firstly, you’re not exactly subtle, the others are just really oblivious. Secondly, Nobara mayyyy have let something slip,” she said.

“I’m going to kill her,” you said.

“Don’t,” she said.

“No, I’m seriously considering it,” you said.

“If you do, I’ll ruin Inumaki’s party,” she threatened.

“Fine!” you whined like a child, “I’m going to go talk to Panda.”

The large bear was asleep in the sun when you reached him. You nudged him with your foot in an attempt to get him to wake up; thankfully, he did, blinking his beetle-dark eyes open sleepily and sitting up when he saw you.

“Panda, I need your help,” you said seriously once you were sure that you had his undivided attention.

“What’s the matter?” he said.

“Inumaki’s leaving, so I’m throwing him a party,” you said. Panda furrowed his brow, clearly trying to process this development.

“He is?” he finally said. You nodded, a small frown tugging at the corners of your lips.

“Yeah, he literally told me as much! He was all like ‘I leave you,’ and it was kind of upsetting, actually,” you said.

“How interesting,” he said finally, and now there was mischief in his expression, “And you need my help with hosting a party?”

“I don’t know how much of a party it’ll be, exactly, I mean it’ll only be the first and second years, but yes, basically,” you said. He chuckled, rubbing his paws together menacingly.

“Excellent. Yes, I’d love to help! And it’s a surprise, right?” he said.

“Yes?” you said. He looked almost evil at this point, baring his teeth in his version of a smirk.

“Even better.”

With the second years thusly recruited and the first years taken care of by Nobara (you wasn’t sure what, exactly, she had over Fushiguro to convince him to join in on the festivities, but judging by the sour expression on his face when he RSVP'd to you, it had to be something), the guest list was complete. Panda assured you he’d get Inumaki to come without being obvious, and you were happy to entrust the task to him.

This left you to go shopping for party supplies, using Gojo’s credit card (Fushiguro had told you where it was hidden). You had convinced Nobara to stay behind, claiming that she needed to hold down the fort in your absence and get started on cleaning the room you’d use for the party. That was a lie, of course — you actually just didn’t want to take her shopping with you. If she came, you wouldn’t be back before midnight, and the party was supposed to be tonight.

“Where are you going?” Inumaki said. You almost screamed at the sound of his voice; you hadn’t expected him to just manifest out of nowhere, and especially not when you were trying to sneak out of the school in order to buy things for his surprise party.

“Shopping!” you said.

“Can I come? I feel like things were kinda left off weirdly last time we spoke, and I hoped we could try to fix them,” he said. You were unused to hearing him speak so many words at once, and you were mesmerised for a second before you mentally slapped yourself out of it.

“No! You cannot come. Sorry,” you said, feeling bad. You wanted nothing more than to talk with Inumaki, to talk and talk until your throat went dry and your words ran out, but if he saw what you were shopping for, then he’d catch on to the plan.

“Oh. Is it because I told you — ?”

“Absolutely not!” you yelped, cutting him off, not wanting him to get any ideas, “I’m shopping for personal things. Like tampons.”

“I don’t really mind that,” he said shyly, “I don’t think tampons are gross. I mean, they’re only plastic and cotton. I just really want to talk with you.”

“Sex toys!” you said.

“Um, what?” he said, taken aback. Your face was hot with embarrassment, but you needed him to understand that he was not allowed to come shopping with you. So you locked eyes with him and tried to repeat yourself.

“I am going shopping for, uh, you know…I mean, you heard me!” you said.

“Right!” he said, and he was so completely red you almost called him Clifford, “I’ll leave you to it, then! I guess we can talk later.”

You gave him a fake smile and a thumbs up, staying frozen in place until he had disappeared from sight. Then, with a wail, you called Nobara.

“I fucking told him I was shopping for sex toys!” you said, not even waiting for her to greet you like usual. There was a long silence on the other end of the line before someone cleared their throat.

“This is Fushiguro,” he said. You promptly hung up and cursed your luck. You should’ve sent Nobara to do the shopping. You really, reallyshould’ve sent Nobara.

That evening, as the sun set over the horizon and Panda distracted Inumaki, the rest of you decorated the room that Nobara and Yuji had cleared earlier in the day. Maki and Nobara were too busy whispering amongst each other to actually help, though, and you were hiding in the corner, too terrified of his reaction to even glance in Fushiguro’s direction. For his part, he did an excellent job of ignoring you, leaving him and Yuji to do the majority of the setting up.

When anxiety made it difficult to breathe, you began to fiddle with the projector, where Okkotsu’s face would be shown once he called in to the party. The green light was blinking, which meant that it was ready to go and was only waiting for you to connect your phone to it.

“It’s going to be fine,” Nobara soothed you, placing a hand on your shoulder, “I think he’ll be thankful you planned something like this at all.”

“And I still think you should confess your feelings,” Maki said, adding her unwanted opinion, “Seriously! If he rejects you then it doesn’t matter, because he’ll just be leaving soon anyways. I think you should consider it.”

“She’s right,” Nobara said, “Here, maybe this’ll motivate you.”

She leaned in until her lips were barely brushing against the shell of your ear, cool breath tickling against your neck.

“What are you doing?” you said, unamused. She pitched her voice lower before speaking.

“Bonito flakes.”

“You little — stop doing that! I do not have an ingredients fetish!” you shouted, hitting her shoulder repeatedly. She burst into raucous laughter, tears of mirth gathering along her lash line.

“I’m going to have to request you to please stop talking about your intimate life in front of me, please,” Fushiguro said uncomfortably, “I already know far more than I ever wanted to.”

“Fushiguro, it wasn’t like that, I was shopping for party supplies! I only said the other thing to throw Inumaki off the trail,” you said.

“Okay,” he said, obviously not believing you but allowing you to pretend, “Whatever you say.”

“Shh! Panda and Inumaki are on their way!” Yuji said, interrupting the conversation by hushing all of you obnoxiously, “Everyone, positions!”

You all ducked behind various pieces of furniture, and one of Fushiguro’s Divine Dogs hit the light switch, plunging the room into darkness before it melted into the shadows once more.

A second later, the door creaked open, revealing Inumaki and Panda’s silhouettes standing in the frame. From beside you, Nobara began to giggle, and you pinched her in an effort to get her to shut up. It worked, although it did have the unfortunate consequence of her pinching you back.

“What’s going on here?” Inumaki said, turning the lights on. As soon as he did, you all (with the exception of Fushiguro, of course) leapt out at him. He fell backwards in surprise, staring up at you through thick lashes.

“Surprise!” Yuji said.

“It’s not my birthday?” Inumaki said.

“Do you see a cake anywhere?” Nobara said, “This isn’t a birthday party, it’s a farewell party!”

“A farewell party? But who are we saying farewell to?” Inumaki said in confusion.

“You. Did you think we wouldn’t care about your departure? You idiot, we’re going to miss you so much!” Maki said, sniffing and wiping away a tear.

“Let’s all go around and share our favorite memories with Inumaki,” Yuji said. Inumaki seemed dumbfounded, so Nobara took the initiative to respond.

“That’s a great idea! I’ll go first — I really enjoyed the one time he let me paint his nails,” she said.

“I don’t have any good memories,” Fushiguro deadpanned, “But if I had to pick a tolerable one, it would be when I convinced him to use his Cursed Speech on Nanami.”

“I remember that!” Maki said, howling in laughter, “And I can’t pick a favorite memory. We just have too many good ones.”

“Same!” Yuji said, and he was bawling now for some reason, “You’re just so cool, Inumaki! I’m so sad that you’re going!”

“Y/N, what about you?” Maki said.

“Confess! Confess! Confess!” Nobara chanted, not even trying to be subtle about it anymore.

“Be quiet!” you said.

“Do it or I’ll do it for you!” she said. You looked around at the audience; they all seemed interested, even Fushiguro. Though you wanted to talk to Inumaki in a bit more of a private setting, Nobara and Maki were right in that this was the perfect time to say something. So, taking a deep breath, you faced the boy.

“Inumaki,” you said, “I know that I’ve been acting weird recently, ever since you told me you’ll be going, but that’s because I don’t want you to. See, the truth is that I love you. I think I have for a while now, and I’m going to miss you, and I don’t want you to go, so please don’t. Please stay.”

He blinked. “Huh? What do you mean? I never said I was going anywhere.”

“Yes you did!” you said, pointing at him accusingly, “I remember it! That day in the infirmary!”

“I didn’t say I was going anywhere, I said I leave you!” he said.

“That’s the same thing!” you said indignantly, “You’re getting upset about semantics when I just confessed that I love you, idiot! Doesn’t that even mean anything to you?”

“No? I’ve never heard of that word before!” he said.

“Love? You’ve never heard of love before?” you said. He shook his head.

“Nope,” he said.

“L-O-V-E. Love. That rings no bells?” you said. His face suddenly went snow-white.

“L-O-V-E is pronounced…love?” he said.

“How the hell else would it be pronounced?” you snapped, feeling far too bewildered and irritated to soften your words. How could he have treated your feelings so flippantly? How did he just not understand love?

Inumaki suddenly found the floor incredibly fascinating. “...leave.”

“What?” You said.

“What?” he said innocently.

“OH MY GOD!” Nobara squealed, catching on far quicker than you, “You both are idiots!” Finally, you began to understand, and then you were inclined to agree with her.

“So you’re not going anywhere?” you checked.

“No, I’m not,” he said.

“He hasn’t been able to speak for practically his entire life,” Panda said, shoulders shaking with laughter, “Can you blame him if he mispronounces a couple of words now and then? It’s not like anybody’s ever corrected him before.”

Mispronounced words. He had mispronounced one of the simplest words in the English language, and it had led to all of this.

“You’re not leaving,” you said again, drawing closer to him, “You’re not leaving me.”

“I won’t ever leave you if you don’t want me to,” he said, wrapping his arms around you in a warm hug.

“Don’t,” you said, “Please don’t.”

“I love you. That’s what I meant to say all along,” he said.

“I guess I threw this whole party for nothing, then,” you said, hiding your face in his shirt.

“Is this what you were shopping for earlier? Not…the other things?” he said.

“Yeah. It was just a surprise, so I didn’t want you coming along,” you said, feeling bashful at how entirely silly the entire affair had ended up being. He let out a warm, gentle laugh that caused his chest to vibrate against your cheek.

“It’ll be hard, you know. Once this week is over, I’ll be back to only speaking in rice ball ingredients,” he warned.

“That’s probably for the best. Less room for misinterpretation,” you said.

“Plus, she has an ingredients fetish!” Nobara chimed in. You withdrew from the safety of Inumaki’s shirt to scowl at her.

“Enough with the ingredients fetish!”

A knock at the door interrupted the tense showdown; Panda opened it to reveal a delivery man, who was holding a package and fidgeting, probably out of fear, considering he was face to face with a giant, sentient panda.

“I have a package from an Okkotsu Yuta, addressed here?” he said. You slapped your forehead.

“Shit, I forgot about him! Thank you,” you said, accepting the box and then quickly calling Okkotsu.

“Hey, guys!” he said cheerily. His phone must have been set up against the wall of a building or something, because it showed him busy using his katana to exorcise curses and not even breaking a sweat, “Sorry, this isn’t a great time, but congratulations on getting together! I hope you like your present — hey! Stay away from the iPhone!” The screen abruptly went dark as a curse swiped at Okkotsu’s cell phone, knocking it down while the sorcerer snarled.

“Open the present!” Yuji said excitedly.

Inside of the box were two bright pink t-shirts. Both of them had white lettering on them — one said I’m Okkotsu Yuta’s Best Friend Foreverand the other said I’m Okkotsu Yuta’s Girlfriend-in-Law.

You all stared at them, expressions varying from amusement to delight to horror. You didn’t even question how Okkotsu had known that you and Inumaki would confess to each other. Clearly, he already thought you both were together, so it was really just divine timing in that sense.

Somewhere in Africa, Okkotsu finished exorcising the curses and sheathed his katana, casting aside his jacket to reveal a bright pink shirt that said on it in white lettering, I’m Okkotsu Yuta.

“Maybe they’ll let me third wheel,” he mused to himself, “I mean, they had better, considering how hard these shirts were to find at the thrift store.”

[inexplicifics]

I love Milena, but she's been getting lots of showtime. Do you have any snippets featuring one of your other ladies - maybe Adelina, Livi, or Julita? And do you have any that are just silly and FUN - I reread your story about a wild griffin adopting Serrit the other day, and it was AMAZING.

Well, here's an Adelina snippet from the Wolfblood 'verse:

The Wolf-Lord is still very imposing, though. He’s not as tall as some of his companions - Lambert is taller, actually, and slightly brawnier, and the big scarred man who Adelina is guessing is Eskel is also both taller and broader than his lord - but there is something about him that makes him seem larger than life somehow, more real than anything else around him. And then he turns and looks at Adelina, and she staggers under the weight of piercing golden eyes. Oh, gods, it’s like he can see right down to her soul, see every flaw and failing she has ever had. She feels like she might burn up under that fiery gaze, burn to ash and blow away at the slightest gust of wind. And then he blinks, and tilts his head in a tiny nod, and somehow the weight of his gaze…lifts, or lightens, until he is only very very uncanny instead of truly otherworldly. “Wolf,” Coën says. “This is Queen Adelina.” The Wolf-Lord nods again, and to Adelina’s vast shock, the first words he says to her are, “Thank you.” Adelina blinks at him, completely at a loss for words. His lips curve in a hair-thin, near-invisible smile.

I'm not sure I have anything else in the works that's as purely cracky as the griffin fic, but here's an exchange I'm fond of from a Laiden modern AU:

Lambert hears the door creak open, and doesn’t think - just rolls out of bed, shoves his feet into his shoes, grabs the bat he keeps between the bed and the nightstand, and heads for the door with the bat held high. The man standing in his front hall with a set of lockpicks in his hand looks very surprised to see him. “What the fuck, dipshit?” Lambert bellows. “What the hell!” the burglar hollers back. “Why are you in my apartment? Why are you naked, oh my gods -” “It’s my fucking apartment!” Lambert snarls. “You just broke in!” “Of course I broke in, my key wasn’t working!” “Your key wasn’t working because it’s not your fucking apartment!” The burglar - possibly not a burglar, or if he is, he’s the most incompetent one Lambert has ever met - blinks at him. “It’s not?” “No, it’s not! It’s mine! Which is why I was asleep here!” “You sleep in your shoes?” “No, who the fuck sleeps in shoes?” “I don’t know, you’re the one who’s not wearing anything else!”

[profoundbondfanfic]

Sweet Hunter Dean meets...

Sweet Hunter Dean meets... by tomatora (@calmcassiopeia) Rating: Teen and up Word Count: 6k

And the fact that this— this eldritch horror, this mass of light and energy, eyes and wings and limbs and whatever else — knowing that it's here, with Dean, that something so colossal even just acknowledges his existence, not to mention cares so deeply about him — it makes Dean feel so, so many things, but primarily (and the realisation is actually mortifying), primarily, it makes him horny. [Dean tries to have a serious conversation but constantly gets side-tracked by his dick.]

A somewhat cracky concept with a whole lot of heart, Dean is reeling post-finale trying to understand what Cas meant when he said the one thing he wanted was the thing he couldn't have. He had Dean. He has Dean. And now the angel has been avoiding him. Dean prays to Cas to try to resolve it and the angel shows up - in all his trueform glory. Now they just need to talk about things.

Unfortunately for Dean, he's finds Cas' trueform extremely distracting.

In a horny way.

This little fic is a standout fix-it for me by mixing some silly, second hand embarrassment with some really beautiful emotions. The end result packs a lot of punch. There are so many bits I love about this fic. The way Dean recognizes Cas. The way he immediately thinks he's beautiful. It's such a delightful little read.

[wonuwrites]

Seventeen Vs. Silent Treatment

angsty thought I had at 4:13am before I had to work the other day. being a creative is rough~

warnings: cracky angst, not my best work but I tried my best xo

❥ S. Coups:

Seungcheol will either force you to talk to him or will give you space there is no in between. He would be like "are you tired of being mad at me yet?" If it was serious he would be so confused why you both were not being adults about it. If it was a prank he would just be pouty and be like "don't do it again."

❥ Jeonghan:

Honestly I can see Jeonghan sighing then just sit next to you and say, "I guess I will wait until you wanna be an adult and talk." He would just be near you until you were ready to talk or come clean about the prank you were attempting to pull. I don't see him be as affected as other members tbh.

❥ Joshua:

You know the Taylor Swift song "The Story Of Us?" Well basically the line "This is lookin' like a contest of who can act like they care less" represented Jisoo and you when you were doing a silent treatment. If anything, he'd be like "two can play that game baby cakes." Whole time you didn't talk to him would drive him crazy (crazier) though. Even though he hates to admit it, he would break first and try to break the treatment.

❥ Jun:

Oh if you did this to Jun, I'm sorry but you are simply an asshole. I don't make the rules just write them. Jun would be so confused and would just be trying everything to get you to talk to him. He'd feel like shit and so confused by the thought of you being upset with him. If it was a joke he'd just be like "I thought jokes were supposed to be funny, (Y/N)." LMFAOOOO

❥ Hoshi:

Soonyoung would just stare at you and keep asking why. He would get a little annoyed by it and would just keep trying to get your attention and get you to talk to him. I can see him being super super dramatic about it and just sighing hella heavy lmfaoooo. He'd just spout random bullshit and just be like "you are ignoring the last tiger in Korea. That's so rude." Just a mess.

❥ Wonwoo:

Wonwoo would just have to give you a look which would make you fold quicker than a house of cards. Between both of you, you would be more of the yapper so if you were quiet or giving him a silent treatment he would find it weird and would be even more confused if it was a joke. If it was for serious though, he'd give you a look and maybe arch an eyebrow lmaooooo

❥ Woozi:

When Jihoon noticed you were quieter than normal he would ask what was up. If you said nothing was wrong and then continued to give him the cold shoulder he would just roll his eyes. You were being petty and would come around when you were ready. It was annoying but he would respect your need for space if you needed it. If you got upset by him giving him space, he'd just tell you "well you could've used your words..."

❥ DK:

Seokmin would just talk at you and try to get your attention if you suddenly did it. He would simply be like "hey, you can't ignore me forever. Come on. Please? Baby... Babe... Y/N... lover." He would be just so confused why you would ignore him so quickly. He'd try to hide it but he would be panicking a lot on the inside.

❥ Mingyu:

Depending on the context of silent treatment is how Mingyu would react. If it was over something he found a bit silly or could tell it was in jest he would be SUCH a diva and just say shit like "I knew you didn't love me." If you were being serious I can see him being mad or annoyed. He'd be like Seungcheol and wonder why you both couldn't just be adults about it. He would do everything in his power to get you to talk.

❥ Minghao:

Minghao would just give you a look if you decided to give him a silent treatment. It would honestly piss him off a little if you were genuinely giving him the silent treatment because he would want you to be an adult and use your words that you needed space instead of just ignoring the issues. However, if it wasn't serious and he knew it, he would just ignore you back and see who would crack first.

❥ Seungkwan:

Oh Seungkwan could go two ways. He'd either call your childish or he would be on hands and knees trying to get you to talk to him. He loved talking with you, he loved being with you, so when you took away what he found comforting, he would be so annoyed and hurt by it. If you were giving him the silent treatment as a joke, he would be so annoyed if he was pranked lolol.

❥ Vernon:

ngl, Hansol might not catch on for a bit but if he does he'd find it pretty childish. He'd want to have open communication on your arguments or whatever because, how can he fix something if he doesn't know how or what is broken? If it was a silly reason he might squeeze your cheeks and just be overly flirty to get your attention which would cause you to crack lol.

❥ Dino:

Oh Channie would be so confused if you just stopped talking to him. He might go to Soonyoung or another one of his hyungs for advice. He would find you so confusing. He would apologize and bring you flowers and chocolate even though he wasn't quite sure what the fuck he was sorry about. When you would talk to him again, he would just be like "baby, can we talk it out instead of being silent next time?"

[doueverwonder]

me: man I have no motivation to write :\

me, sees this post by @welcome-under-the-table: wow I have the worst idea known to man.

anyway I wrote a really cracky technically nsfw fic, there's nothing explicit but I'm still kindly requesting minors stay away. All but like I think 2 states are mentioned? Have fun, I wrote this in an hour and a half.

(also shant if you want me to untag you or even delete this all together just let me know haha)

~~~~~

The all state meetings were a bit more rare than region, belt, or any other assorted states meeting. By consequence they usually had afterparties, they started off normal enough but always spiraled into something ridiculous. This time it was playing ‘never-have-I-ever’, it started tame enough, most states targeting others with specific instances; but once the floodgates opened there was no stopping it. 

With so many people playing it took awhile to get around the circle, but everyone was on their third never-have-I-ever and it had come back around to North Dakota. “Never have I everrr…um” they stopped looking around the room trying to figure out something that hadn’t been said yet, targeting specific states wasn’t really fun anymore, far more fun was saying the most outlandish things and by proxy getting states to admit to things they wouldn’t otherwise. Their eyes settled on Virginia just long enough to come up with one, “Oh! Never have I ever slept with all of the original thirteen” 

Most questions like this were met with plenty of laughter, a state or two trying to discreetly take the shot to stay unnoticed, this one however was a long silence, most of the laughter coming from the thirteen. 

No one had taken one yet when Oregon raised his hand, “Like all in one night or different instances” 

North Dakota thought about it for a second, “Either works” 

Despite the clarification question there was another long silence, they would have moved on if the thirteen weren’t still trying to stifle laughter, like they knew something no one else did and didn’t want anyone to know. 

“God, you’re all so bad at this” Nevada was the first to take a shot, she grinned widely “Massachusetts ego IS compensating by the way” then mouthed something, her fingers pinched together. This finally spurred more laughter from everyone, except Mass, whose face was quickly turning an unhealthy shade of red. 

Florida threw a shot back, before adding loudly “So is Jerseys!” 

Another wave of laughter, halfway through it California took the next one, but promptly launched into a lecture: “The obsession with size is really silly. I mean, at the very least it's an unfair standard–”

“Who was the best fuck Cal?” someone–no one really paid attention to who–interrupted. 

California answered the question without pause, “New York, but as I was saying–” 

The assortment of laughter, whistles, and jokes that followed drowned out whatever he was going to say next. New York wouldn’t have heard anyway, too busy being smug towards Massachusetts and New Jersey. Once most of the chatter died down, and California accepted he wasn’t going to be able to finish his speech everyone seemed ready to move onto the next question, some quite anxiously. 

“Now hold on,” North Carolina interrupted before South Dakota was even able to come up with a new question, “I don’t think we’re done with that one yet” 

It got quiet again, no one else willing yet to admit it. Not before someone else did. “C’mon y’all,” South Carolina added, “Game ain’t no fun if you don’t answer truthfully” 

Texas made sure to find each of the thirteen and look them in the eyes personally before declaring “All y’all are whores” and taking a shot. 

“Fuck it” Washington took the next one, Montana shrugging and falling in line taking the next as well as handing one to Wyoming, who dropped his head shaking it for a moment before downing it. At the very least guilty by omission. 

“Seven?!” North Dakota seemed overly excited, “what's the most out with one question so far?” 

“Oh we aren’t done yet” Pennsylvania was the next of the thirteen to speak. 

Now at least that the ball was rolling it was easier for people to come out with it, Ohio sticking his tongue out at Pennsylvania before taking his, Illinois did as well, then the most surprising–at least yet–Indiana added to the conversation; “I don’t like that we all didn’t just do this when the question was asked and instead are doing this individual humiliation thing” then took his. 

Tennessee held his up to Kentucky to cheers, except Kentucky put his hands up; “Be a cold day in hell before you get me in bed with Virginia” 

This unfortunately was overheard by Mississippi who was mid-admission-of-guilt-drink and laughed hard enough to get it up his nose. 

Alabama did his best to stifle his laughter when asking, “You alright?” 

Mississippi was leaned over, trying to hide from everyone watching him and also combat the absolutely horrid burning sensation; “I just admitted to getting gangbanged and have vodka up my nose, I’m just dandy” 

Alabama rolled his eyes at the sarcasm, and took a drink hoping Mississippi’s unfortunate predicament would distract everyone from him. There was a clink as Michigan, Wisconsin and Minnesota cheered before all drinking. Little did anyone know they had prepared for this exact scenario while on one of their fishing trips, you run out of stuff to talk about eventually, and they had decided they would go down together if it ever came up. 

North Dakota did another count, “That’s 17… how many states have you all slept with?” 

“Thirty-Two” New Hampshire answered casually, “And I think the better statement would be ‘how many states have slept with all of us?’” 

Vermont was sitting snuggled up next to New Hampshire, having been the actual first to drink, no one was watching though so only Hamp had noticed; “I don’t think the wording matters too much” 

“It absolutely does V” 

Nebraska took the next drink, sitting not far from the two “Now is certainly a time to act like an old married couple. We’re talking about your husbands affairs Vermont,” 

“It’s not an affair if I know about them” Vermont winked, making New Hampshire’s blush harder to hide and enticing a couple laughs from people close enough to hear. 

Speaking of affairs, “It was before I met Illithiya” Utah felt the need to announce before taking a drink… it wasn’t even alcohol, Utah was still sitting on this funny line where he would break some rules but not others. So he was just drinking soda water, and instead of ‘play until you're too drunk’ he had ten then was out. 

Colorado raised his hand, “What if you don’t entirely remember you have, like you’re pretty sure but also–” 

��You have” all of the thirteen answered in sync, giving each other looks over having all answered at once. 

“Oh! Sick” Colorado took a shot. New Mexico tried not to roll his eyes too hard, he had spent the last ten minutes watching Coco try to count to thirteen and fail miserably, it was almost sad regardless of how drunk one was. He and Arizona had been so entranced by it they had to be reminded there was still a question to answer. Of course like everyone before they both took a shot.

Oklahoma tried to discreetly take a drink, Texas noticed and started laughing. “Oh hush! Y’ain’t no better than me!” 

“Sure I am,” Texas answered, “I topped more than you did” 

“Oh bless your heart” Georgia smiled pitifully at Texas, “I think your memories are goin’ bad” 

Texas went red all the way to his ears, while Oklahoma fell off the couch from laughing so hard. 

Florida had been having fun watching the chaos unfold as everyone admitted to it, he had a sneaking feeling it was way more than anyone could have guessed but this was wonderful. 

“C’mon Loui, everyone else is going your turn I know you’ve–”

“Not Mass” Louisiana countered, “That’s my brothers brother, couldn’t do that to Maine” 

“Thanks?” Maine asked, though he sounded confused, honestly he had never really thought about if he would mind Loui and Mass being romantically or… he shivered, otherly, involved with each other. He appreciated the sentiment though. 

Oregon despite being the one to have asked the question that finally spurred people answering hadn’t drank yet himself. All his neighbors had except for the one whos opinion he cared about most; 

“Have you done it?” Idaho asked, looking over the thirteen in the same way most states had in the past couple minutes. 

“Have you?” Oregon asked without answering. They both just looked at each other for a long moment, then laughed and both drank. 

“This is crazy!” North Dakota said to South, “I didn’t think this many people would have to drink over this one” 

“Yeah… crazy,” South answered, looking at his drink. He didn’t really care if North knew about it, what he did care about was the fact that North hadn’t and in drinking he was technically admitting defeat. It wouldn’t be as bad if anyone else had asked the question. He was faced with a horrible decision, cheat or admit defeat to his twin… yeah he was going to cheat. “Good thing I’ve never done it” 

“Like you could dream of getting that many people to like you!” North joked, South looked him directly in the eyes and drank. 

“Welp, I feel left out” Iowa stated watching almost all his neighbors admit to it, right after he took not one, but two shots, mumbling about how he wasn’t going to admit to it but now that everyone else was he felt like he had to. 

Missouri, Arkansas, and Kansas were the only three left; everyone else had either denied it or drank. They were the holdout. Missouri was the first of the three to cave, admitting to have slept with all of them but heavily noting it was not in one night. 

Maryland tried not the laugh, “Y’all everyone knows the number, and you two are the only ones left” 

Both seemed to realize this at the same time and both sheepishly took a shot; “I kept my dignity longest though” Arkansas looked for some sort of victory, counting the fact that he set his glass down after Kansas as a win. 

“I guess I’m the only one left” Everyone jumped a bit having entirely forgotten Alaska was there, he took a swig out of a flask, no one was entirely sure what was in it but he had been using it the whole game so far. “That’s 32” 

North Dakota just sat there in absolute shock, they had expected to get two or three out with this question, not over half the states. “What is up with this anyway?” 

Virginia smiled, joking “Didn’t you hear? Ain’t a real state til you’ve slept with all the thirteen”

[kamwashere]

spideypool fic rec list please!!!!

Paradise (spread out with a butter knife) by Sarah_Sandwich [T, Graphic Depictions of Violence, 72K]

He sighs from where he’s prone, arms akimbo, and roof gravel digging into his spine. “I lost my job. My… other job. The one that actually pays the bills.” He doesn’t want to dwell on why he’s telling Deadpool of all people. Surely it has nothing to do with his desperate lack of friends. MJ is in California chasing her dreams, Harry’s undergoing treatment for his mental health and isn’t allowed visitors (not that it matters since they blacklisted Peter after last time), and Gwen… Well. And it’s not like he can talk to Aunt May without her worrying about him starving to death under a bridge or something so… Deadpool it is. Man, when did his life get this pathetic. OR: The one where Peter and Wade are literal soulmates but don't realize it for literal years because they're literal idiots.

✦ kam's notes: My favoritest SMDP fic. It’s a soulmate au and it has one of the best characterizations of Peter and Wade. It burns so slow and so good. My favorite thing about this fic is how unique but somehow familiar this universe is. Peter is bad at being an adult and Wade is larger than life. I love the transition from strangers to friends to best friends to partners to roommates to soulmates/heartmates to lovers. I could not recommend this enough. 

Peter Parker's Home for the Wayward Villain by BeanieBaby [T, 90K]

A really long redemption story.

✦ kam's notes: The mother of all SMDP fics, in my opinion. It’s spideypool + a lot of fun side couples and cameos. Peter is Tony’s adopted son and he has no powers. He adopts a bunch of villains like Loki and Magneto. So fun and one of the first SMDP fics I’ve ever read!

Quackery by CAPSING [M, 3K]

In a world where the first words your soulmate will say to you appear on your left wrist at your tenth birthday, Peter gets the short end of the stick.

✦ kam's notes: It’s not a Spideypool fic rec list if there are no works by CAPSING. It’s a soulmate AU where Peter gets a duck-related soulmate mark. It’s funny and light-hearted, but with Deadpool-typical angst.

you grow up and you lose touch by scarlett_starlett [M, Graphic Depictions of Violence, 52K]

Peter always thought that when he had kids, there would be someone by his side. Instead, he has a mouthy mercenary acting as a chef every night for him and his newly adopted son and a narcissistic billionaire philanthropist paying child support on the sly. But Peter figures it isn’t all bad, especially when Miles loses that dullness in his eyes whenever Wade slips on the banana peels he ‘strategically’ places all over the apartment for Peter as a joke.

✦ kam's notes: Normally don’t like a kidfic but this one is too adorable not add. Peter and Wade co-parenting/co-mentoring Miles! Love the dynamic between Wade and Miles, it’s so silly.

TheRealDeadpool posted by JessJesstheBest [T, 6K]

Carly Shep @Spider-butt Sooo… has anyone else noticed how cozy Spider-Man and the Merc with a Mouth seem to be lately? (14 retweets, 74 likes) Or the Isn't it Bromantic comic run from the perspective of in-universe social media

✦ kam's notes: What it says on the summary. Very cracky and sweet. I like the outsider POV element of this.

BF(F) by HexxBunny [T, 10K]

Five times people thought Wade and Peter were a couple which, seriously, where did they get that from? They are not a couple, stop asking. They are just friends now, and did plenty of friend stuff. Like kissing.

✦ kam's notes: Peter being in denial: the fic. It’s very fluffy. A lot of kissing. The Avengers make an apperance. 

Pizza Parker, Booty Double by vulcanhighblood [G, 1K]

The pizza delivery boy has hips that don't lie, and a booty belonging to Spider-Man. All Wade has to do now is find proof that Peter is the webbed wonder...

✦ kam's notes: The famous “Deadpool recognized Peter outside the suit based on his ass” fic. There are some dubiously-consensual groping but it’s all in very good fun.

that's all it is, man by scarlett_starlett [T, 5K]

"It’s just a leap of faith. That's all it is." (or: Peter B. Parker returns to his New York and actually believes that he won’t mess it up again; not this time, not with him. WARNING: Spoilers for the Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse movie. Read with caution.

✦ kam's notes: Another scarlett_starlett fic! Possibly the best Peter B. Parker/Wade Wilson fic, in my opinion. I love love love their dynamic in this. The banter is 10/10. Wade gives  some much-needed appreciation for Peter B’s dad bod. 

Parallel Horizons by mokuyoubi [E, 10K]

When Peter B Parker enters the collider again to return to his own dimension, he’s dumped out a week into the future, but still in Miles’ universe. Repeated attempts to return home only speed up the damage done to his body by the glitches, and leave him stranded 2 years in the future. Enter Deadpool, who’s seen a lot of versions of Spider-Man, but never one so in need of a friend. He vows to save Peter’s life, whether he likes it or not. Along with Miles and Gwen, they work to repair the damage, and find out what’s keeping Peter from being able to return home. And maybe Peter finds he has more in common with the strange Merc than he could have anticipated.

✦ kam's notes: Another Peter B./Wade fic. Wade is very helpful and charming, how could Peter not fall for him? The other Spideys also make a cameo. Some Liv/May crumbs in here, too.

liminal spaces by brawlite [Series, M, 18K, Unfinished]

New York City is full of liminal spaces. Somehow, Peter always seems to find Wade in them.

✦ kam's notes: This one is technically a series. There are three works in here and they’re all so good. I love how intimate these fics feel and there are some great Peter retrospectives here. 

an itch you can't scratch by jilliancares [G, 8K]

5 times Wade bumps into Peter Parker + 1 time he realizes Peter Parker is Spider-Man.

✦ kam's notes: Oh my God, this one! Wade keeps meeting Peter and keeps feeling like he’s forgetting something. The moment he realizes is my favorite part of this fic. Definitely recommend!

Another Trip Around the Sun by isaDanCurtisproduction [M, 31K]

Peter likes Wade. A lot. Like-likes him. But this is a problem, see? Because Wade has no idea who is behind the Spiderman mask. And then they go to a New Years Eve Party hosted by Tony Stark, get completely wasted, and suddenly this does not seem to be nearly as much of a problem as Peter originally thought. Because Peter always makes the best decisions while drunk, don't you know? Especially when his decision involves getting into Deadpool's pants.

✦ kam's notes: The miscommunication fic to end all the other miscommunication fics. Frustrating, sexy, and a little angsty! 

Halo by Pancake22 [T, 5K]

Convinced that Spider-Man is hiding in plain sight as an employee at Parker Industries, Deadpool explores the building in hopes of spotting his friend amongst the sea of corporate drones. All to offer him a job opportunity, of course. That was it though. Honest.

✦ kam's notes: SM/DP compliant. Identity reveal. Enough said. 

It Had to Be You by fancastical [T, 20K]

Or, Five Times Deadpool Recognised Spider-Man and One Time He Didn't

✦ kam's notes: A frustrating, bordering on cracky identity reveal fic. Peter is a troll, Wade loves him anyway. The ending is super satisfying, I promise. 

Don't mind just shamelessly plugging my own fics—

my heart is wild (and my bones are steel) [T, 9K]

Out of the corner of his eyes, MJ quietly takes the seat across the younger Peter, swiftly sliding into his place. He visibly relaxes, resting his forehead against hers. They belong together in a quietly intense way. Longing burns hot inside of him, like a branch caught in a forest fire. It’s strange. Even if this version of Peter has lost virtually everything, he still finds a way to be envious of him. He thinks of Wade. For some unfathomable reason he isn’t quite ready to examine yet, he misses the idiot. No Way Home, but in Peter-Three’s perspective.

all the skeletons you hide (show me yours, i’ll show you mine) [M, 16K, WIP]

A wave of affection and longing almost makes him stagger on his feet. Just seeing him in that suit—looking less than impressive, scratching his butt—makes him realize just how much he missed him. “Wade,” Peter cringes at how his voice catches, “Hi.” Wade turns around, turns back, turns again and does a double take. He eyes Peter up and down and to his surprise, turns away snootily. “Sorry cutie, any other day, I would be super into this hipster nerd slash skater boi with an I you’ve got going on—devastating combo, by the way—I’m sadly not in the mood.” Peter, fresh out of his multiversal escapades, gains a new perspective in life. One that includes a certain mouthy mercenary, perhaps? The problem is, the mercenary doesn’t seem to remember him. Like at all. He has a sneaking suspicion it has to do with that spell thing Peter-One was talking about…

‣ Both are a part of the new york isn't new york without you series

[timeislikemusic]

name. kip!

pronouns. any.

preferred comms. IMs first, but I’ll offer my Discord if we vibe well.

name of muse. Qiao Ling, Xia Fei, Vein, Liu Xiao… been staring at Li Tianchen lately, but I’m not sold yet. Just trying as many characters for my hyperfixation as I can!

experience in RP. I don’t remember the exact date I started, but I only got serious in mid-2018. I’ve been writing ever since. Moved to Discord 2-3 years later and still participate in groups there.

best experiences. I’ve been in so many fandoms and done so many different AUs, it’s hard to pick which is my favorite! Outside of servers, I’ve most loved rambling with friends in DMs. Low-stakes brainrotting about tiny what-ifs is my ideal pastime. Love being able to send fanart to someone and talk for a couple hours about wherever it takes us.

pet peeves / dealbreakers. COPYCATS AND HEADCANON THIEVES SOUND TERRIFYING SO UM? New fear unlocked. My biggest ick is entitlement from others towards me, my time, and/or my muses… I have one too many horror stories of people pushing me for replies, godmodding my interactions, or throwing creepy fits when I express lost interest in a ship or character.

muse preference (angst, fluff + smut). I don’t always enjoy fluff if it leans toward cracky territory… so I can be selective. Hmu with hurt/comfort, angst, and all sorts of complex debacles. Not sure about accepting smutty interactions yet, since I’d have to rework my rules and give folks time to filter out a tag first, but I was considering it. Finally, fight rps (as in, pure combat) are not my cup of tea.

plots or memes. Memes are super new to me (as is Tumblr as a whole)! I… still don’t know which I like more. I’m used to plotting longer interactions, but if memes are as low-pressure as I’m beginning to think, maybe I need to start asking for more or sending more out? I worry about annoying folks tho, so I heavily lean on OOC convos to gauge interest.

are you like your muse. I’m not assertive enough to parallel QL, and I sure as hell hope I’m not like LX (I say while lovingly petting his hat). I’d say I’m most like XF, then? Except… even before I got into Link Click, I would joke about my friends’ characters being tasty/yummy and how much I wanted to just. stick them in my mouth and violently chew. I thought it was cute aggression. Maybe it was actually untapped Vein muse LOL

tagged by : @hourdive ty, this was very fun!! tagging : @repeatingdeath ...? Everyone else I know has done something like this before or was previously tagged, I think, so I hope you haven't yet;;; otherwise I look silly, um. glances around

[zios-plotbun-farm]

One Piece Fanfic Crossover Idea [includes LawLu]

Alright. So recently after having binge-reading a lot of Lawlu fanfic, and falling back into the rabbit hole that is One Piece. I have managed to brew up a really silly lawlu storyline that honestly is more law-centric than anything. Although it has a lot of romance elements, probably more than it should. But uh, it's not entirely focused on Lawlu? That’s what I get for thinking throwing in my past 3 OTPs from my previous fandoms and 1 very old one would be a great idea. =w=;;

And if that got your attention then buckle up this is gonna get slightly cracky and very long. Not much plot but plenty of detail lol

So the story starts with the Blackbeard battle on Whipper Island which still goes the same as canon. The only difference is that somehow Bepo, Shachi, Penguin and Ikkaku were the only ones in the crew to have survived the attacks. All of them escape with Law as in canon and regroup at a further away barren island or something. Not very detailed here.

Anyway, let’s just say a passing benevolent godly entity who favors Law (me lol) sees his situation, and decides to meddle as a way to help him out. They send Law a vision as a way to explain what will happen and why some random people will be suddenly appearing in front of them. That explanation being that they are sending possible new crewmates that will definitely be strong enough to survive the New World and help Law on his new quest for revenge against Blackbeard. Obviously Law protests against this at first but is unable to refuse since all these people were already being transported from outside their universe's domain  and can’t be returned because of their own universal rules. The Entity was just kind enough to nudge them on the path to the One Piece universe. When instead they could have continued hurling into the void between universes.

So after his forced agreement, various types of portals opened up, dropping off a whole bunch of confused people. A few of which were injured. A list also happened to appear that conveniently had information on them with their previous occupations and abilities. After everyone was done panicking, being suspicious, and first aid was administered. Law explained what the Lady Entity told him about their situations. He then asked them how they all got transported outside their universes. Here follows their situations:

[Naruto] SasuNaru

Naruto and Sasuke were sealing Kaguya away when she was able to get one last shot in that was a dimensional portal that had sucked in the two ninja while they were exhausted. They weren’t able to dodge it and Sakura was barely saved from being sucked in like they were since she was less exhausted and farther away from the portal.

[SVSSS] Moshang

LGJ got the drop on MBJ during the accession ceremony and SQH was able to distract him enough to get to MBJ. He used his return to home function while gripping MBJ as a last attempt to escape LQJ since MBJ was heavily injured. When Law arrived, Strange and Naruto were able to heal him enough not to die. Also during their explanation SQH realizes that he isn't bound by the system any more and has essentially been freed. Which means he can reveal his past life secrets if he wants too.

[MDZS] Wangxian

Their group had been ambushed by masked men during a very suspicious night hunt. They were caught in an array that had Wei Wuxian try to use a prototype transportation talisman to help escape or counteract it. Instead it made it into a very unstable dimensional travel array. The array that was used had something to do with time. [Include Wen Ning & Lan Sizhui]

[MCU] StrangeIron

All three were thrown out of their universe by the infinity stones themselves because the space/soul/time stones convinced the others to let them leave since they really liked Strange/Tony/Peter and didn’t want them to die. Initially only Tony was gonna use the stones but Peter joined in to help him and Stephen joined in to try to keep either of them from dying from power overload. So now they are banned from returning to their universe since they are supposed to be dead. That's the price for saving their universe. Also in this universe Tony had used a very low dose version of extremis to survive chest surgery after Siberia which is why he was able to survive the snap with the help of the other 2. This has Tony looking like late thirties.

After hearing their various situations, with all of them sounding very outlandish to the Heart Pirates, Law is both amazed and dreading having them all as possibly future crew members. But still Law throws out the offer of them joining his pirate crew and explains why it's a good idea. While explaining he also informs them about what this universe is like. Which includes devil fruits, the marines, the world government, the pirate era and the most famous pirates currently.

This in turn leads to Law’s bounty and infamy which also reveals Law’s newest quest for revenge against Blackbeard for killing most of his crew and destroying the Polar Tang. Sasuke, Wei Wuxian, and Mobei jun can relate to wanting revenge. Collectively they agree to join Law since the Heart pirates were the only ones that knew about their otherworldly situations and abilities. Plus none of them had any interest in being recruited or kidnapped by the Marines for their powers. Also not one of them would have been able to live normally without attracting some sort of attention, besides maybe SQH on his own.

After this Law goes over the list that Entity gave him. Which also included the tip of rejoining the StrawHats as an Ally again. Since they are eventually going to have a run-in with Blackbeard. Plus they needed time for his new crew to figure out how they fared against the fighters here. As well as get over the culture shock they're gonna have being in a new world. And possibly learn how to sail a normal boat and not a submarine. At least until they buy or steal a new one.

Crew Positions/Roles? Bepo = Navigator/First Mate Shachi =Doc assistant/Swordsman? Ikkaku = SubMechanic/Sniper Penguin =Doc assistant/Cook/Staff user? Naruto = Helmsman?/Scout/Fighters Sasuke = Lookout/Scout/Fighters MBJ = Fighter/Assassin/General SQH = Treasurer/Quartermaster/Spy Tony = Mechanic/Inventor/Fighters Stephen = Doctor/Sorcerer/Fighters Peter = Mechanic/Cabin boy/Fighters WWX = Fighter/Inventor/Musician LWJ =Cook/Fighter/Musician LSH =Fighter/Cabin boy/Musician WN =Fighter/Watchman/Pharmacist?

Extra Story Elements

Inventor group= Tony, Peter, WWX, Ikkaku Doc group= Law, Stephen, WN Inhuman= MBJ, WN, Bepo, honorary members Naruto & Peter Swordsmen= Law, LWJ, WWX, LSH, Sasuke, Shachi Lit Club= WWX & SQH, Shachi, Pen + editor Naruto Avoid Docs group= Tony, Peter, Naruto, WWX Kids Club= Peter, LSH, Naruto, Sasuke Sanity Group= LWJ, SQH, Law, Bepo Cooks= LWJ, Penguin, Naruto

Luffy becomes super jealous of Law for having 2 ninjas on his crew and tries to convince one of them to join his crew. Naruto doesn’t want to separate from Sasuke, and Sasuke would rather die than join a crew with 2 Narutos.

Franky & Ussop are amazed by the stuff that Tony and Peter make considering they do not use cola and are untraceable to the Marines. Tony was horrified by the fact that Cola could be used essentially like oil and that their phones were living organisms. Created various devices by hand and maybe recreated the Arc reactor to power their new Boat/Sub?

New Boat/Sub was made by a combination of Tony, Peter, Ikakku, Franky & Naruto who used his clones as workers.

Stephen gets his hands fixed with the help of Law and Naruto. Law with taking the pins out and attaching the nerves. And Naruto helped to regrow them and heal them. [hand wavy medicine]

On the boat when people are having relationship problems they go to wangxian since they were the only ones in a relationship and technically married with a son. MBJ is the first one to ask LWJ about how to court a cultivator since they are both introverted.

People confuse Tony & Steph as a couple because they parent Peter and think he is their son. This is before they actually get together.  

Peter, LSH, Naruto, and Sasuke are seen as the Kid group. Although Law does treat them as adults when needed. Everyone tends to be protective of them. MBJ & Law are Sasuke’s favorite crewmates because they are all cat-like.

Have a whole thing about trying to revive WN back to life since his body is in a state of stasis and his soul is bound to his body by force. Get his body to work again like Frankenstein. Group project between WWX, Law, Stephen, and MBJ. Possible outcome that WN turns into a Demon since he is saturated in Resentful energy.

SQH and Peter are the only ones to have an idea about the One Piece and Naruto worlds. SQH had his OTPs SasuNaru and LawLu while Peter had his favorite characters aka Sas, Naru, Law and Lu. Decide together to try and help the couples along with SQH taking LawLu and Peter getting SasuNaru. Peter has no clue how to, so just suggests ways to hang out.

Law while an introvert and masking as a Stern stoic badass. Is very much a secret chaotic dumbass when provoked by Luffy and others. Also he can’t seem to seriously fight Luffy without a good reason otherwise it turns into a slapstick fight lol. Is willing to wear stupid clothes/costumes although some might be in his eccentric style.

Shachi is a swordsman but only because Law needed someone to train and spar against while growing up and traveling through the North sea before they took on the grandline. He's a lot more comfortable with fighting hand to hand like a brawler/street fighter. Although he's also pretty good at using blunt weapons [bats, knuckles]. Possibly have him learn how to use armament haki to coat his fists and weapons. Maybe learn with Naruto and Peter to fight better with hand to hand techniques and parkour techniques aka move around larger opponents like Peter. [All the flipping and jumping] Possibly learn how to use advanced armament haki techniques with the help of Naruto and Sasuke. Similar to Sage techniques and Sakura’s strength techniques.

Penguin joins up with Shachi to learn better hand to hand combat. Can't seem to get the hang of using a weapon so at some point asks Stephen if he can learn his magic? Stephen gives it a try at teaching him. Penguin can only use a few magic spells since he isn't a genius like Stephen but tries to be creative with them. [Portals, Mandala shields, Eldritch whips, Energy sword, pure energy saw blasts, possible water element?] Help with MBJ, and Peter somehow, learns to water bend using magic.

Ikkaku gets trained by Tony, SQH, and surprisingly Sasuke. She focuses on hand to hand combat, gun/sniper training, using daggers, and figuring out how to use observation haki. She focused on presence sensing and intent sensing that she wishes to develop into future vision. Trains to make sure her concentration can't be easily broken, plus to increase her endurance and stamina. Possibly ask Stephen to teach her how to transmute items so she never runs out of bullets or without a dagger and some mild telekinesis to throw them/manipulate them. 

Law trains with his new crew mates to better use his devil fruit and his own body. Possibly have him unlock his own Conquerors haki like Luffy. Maybe have WWX give him some tips on using Jiang techniques since they were more adaptable while he spars LWJ & LSH to learn proper sword fighting. While also learning how to fight either bare handed or with only his fruit abilities with Strange and Sasuke.

WWX totally treats Law like a little brother since his tsundere tendencies remind him of JC. While WN likes him since he reminds him of WQ and his harsh bedside manner but caring actions for those he loves. Peter, Naruto, and Sasuke are new ducklings to teach and protect in WWX’s eyes. LWJ respects Law's authority and experiences, and at times acts like an advisor for battles [war experience]. Naruto/Peter = cool older friend while LSH treats him like a senior disciple. MBJ is willing to follow only because of SQH but watches Law like a hawk and forces him to grow stronger to be worthy of following him [demon stuff]. Stephen treats him as a colleague because both are genius surgeons and Protectors. Tony likes to mess with him and treats him like a youngsters aka Peter. Same with the other OG heart pirates although gives slightly more respect to Ikkaku for withstanding their bullshit [Sees Pepper/May in her]. Sasuke and Law at times butt heads because Sasuke isn't good with authority figures, and while Law understands that, it can be frustrating since he is the authority for this crew.

MBJ was the one to push Law to train to get stronger. Reason 1) cause it the demon way to only be the subordinate of someone if they were stronger than them. Reason 2) sees that Law needs to be pushed after having fallen into depression for failing his previous crew. So decides to motivate him by fueling him with Anger, Revenge and Spit like any proper demon would. Sasuke and WWX help at this point because they understand. This also causes the other OG hearts to also start training which leads to others offering their help for training.

While shopping for clothes SQH and WWX go ham looking for clothes. SQH convinces WWX to try on these great form fitting black coats and pants with low heeled boots. Also tells him that they aren't obligated to wear multiple layers so they can experiment with fashion now. WWX is very excited by this both from not having to be so formal and to tease LWJ. Tony and Peter go and decide they want to look the part of actually being pirates and drag Stephen along. They give Stephen the full pirate look with Levi turning into an overcoat. MBJ decides to wear the least amount of clothes since the seas are very hot and he can't be bothered to wear layers here. LWJ on the other hand struggles to find clothes that he is comfortable wearing. Gets help from SQH after he and WWX are finished with their choices. Sasuke and Naruto go and try to find the best reinforced clothes they can buy but choose to alter the few clothes they had to fit in.

Shang Qinghua: System gives him the ability to have a RPG game system interface to use in real life for completing PIDW storyline. He gains unlimited inventory space, Analysis ability, Spotify, Library, Map, Internet.

KARAOKE/DANCE NIGHTS SQH goes ham with the Spotify ability because it has modern songs which has Peter and Tony joining in. Everyone gets curious about the different music which ends up with them having Karaoke/dance nights where they sing or have dance offs to different songs. Even Law finds songs that he enjoys and is willing to sing to although rarely. Shachi and Penguin during those times are always his back up dancers or singers by force.

[ectogeo-rebubbles]

I hopelessly yearn for the horror of Sloan getting his hands on Julian earlier in the series when he’s still wide eyed and naive and full of joy and grooming him until he breaks in exactly the way Sloan would like but trying to slot ANYTHING to do with Section 31 into the earlier seasons without completely rewriting canon is beyond me. Thus far the best I can manage is like, Sloan having crossed paths with Julian and becoming a little obsessed with him and just biding his time until the war and the augment reveal give him an excuse to finally make contact directly, but that’s pretty weak to me. I’ve considered Sloan being stationed covertly on DS9 posing as a Bajoran civilian, with the intent of monitoring all the other security risks on the station, but instead finding himself spending way too much time observing the good doctor who is somehow too smart and too stupid for his own good. Would he justify his close monitoring of Julian because Julian is inexplicably friends with a dangerous Cardassian. Would he decide that Sisko isn’t taking that potential security risk seriously and decide he has to take it upon himself to steer Julian away from someone who could compromise Federation security. Would he just toss aside all pretence and decide he just wants a twink boyfriend.

Anyway, I just like thinking about early seasons Julian having all his hope and joy carved out of him deliberately by someone who thinks they’re doing him a favour. Idk, it just tickles me.

I love all of this as a whumpy concept!! I really like the idea of Sloan scrutinizing his connection to Garak 🥰 Especially bc we were DENIED that in Inquisition.

Okay I’m gonna try to help you imagine how early seasons sloanshir would reasonablywork. First of all though, here is a random unreasonable cracky idea lmaoooo: Sloan (who is just a regular Starfleet Intelligence officer for the moment) meets Julian one time in early seasons, falls for him, and then specifically starts s31 from scratch to try to eventually lure in Julian Bashir (and corrupt him 💕). Corollary: Julian is obvs into spy stuff but never joined Starfleet Intelligence so Sloan deduces that clearly what he is into is bad boys. 😈

Okay now forget all that silliness and let’s return to something slightly more sane lol. (Barely sane actually bc it involves how nonsensical canon itself is lmao.)

At the beginning of s3, the Founders get put onto s31’s radar. By mid-s4, s31 has not only decided to kill every changeling but has also developed the virus and infected Odo with it. s31 must have been keeping a close eye on ds9 between s3e2 and s4e11. Maybe Sloan was working on Julian all during this time, and information he got out of him led to the decision to destroy the Founders. Maybe Sloan befriended him (and/or fucked him) while wearing a totally different face, or met him online and has only talked to him in text form. (Maybe him crushing Julian’s spirit is a long con, a slowburn. Maybe Julian’s depression during the war is in part a result of Sloan manipulating and gaslighting him since s3.)

Anyway, I really think Sloan would have had a stronger chance of tricking Julian into being recruited if he had gotten to him earlier. He would still have to lie about s31’s true purpose, but at least Julian would not yet be so jaded. If Sloan had gotten to Julian on the heels of his canonical “surveillance lessons” with Garak, he might have had a hope of convincing him it would be the kind of light and breezy and unambiguously heroic spycraft Julian would want it to be, unlike the reality.

This isn’t quite the same as what you crave, but Wicked Game by @hellostuffedtiger is a spectacular fic exploring what would have happened if Sloan got to Julian before Julian ever met Garak. It’s not quite early seasons Julian like you want though. It also doesn’t show the corruption process, but rather the outcome of that process, after a few very specific canon divergence points. It just lives in my head rent free and there is a slim possibility it will scratch part of your itch, so I gotta mention it. <3

[lighthouseshepard]

🌩 for the ask game pleaseeeeee <3

🌩️ Share something funny/cracky from your WIP

HI LEA❤️ have a small but silly snippet from the next nsi chp of john stealing a wallet(:

Feeling the gaze of the store clerk on him, he sends an apologetic smile in what he hopes is the right direction and turns back to face the mirror. “John, just tell me,” he mutters furtively. “I won’t be mad, I promise. Whatever you did, I’d rather know than remain ignorant.”

Fine, he rumbles. Yesterday, at lunch, I noticed a wallet on the table across from us. It was sitting there for some time, Arthur, practically through the whole meal. No one came to pick it up. So I…

“Jesus Christ,” Arthur groans. “You didn't.”

I didn’t take everything out of it, John protests, only a few bills! It wasn’t like anyone was going to come back for it. They probably forgot it.

[lixenn]

I'm torn on which wip to ask about! I definitely would like to know about Dark Housekeeping. But... I'm also curious about one hundred and one ways to mess up a demon summoning, if you feel like it :)

Hiii Kitt! Thanks for stopping by! 💜✨

You are in luck because someone else already asked about dark housekeeping (which you can find here) so I can ramble about the demon summoning WIP too hehehehe

Okay so I actually don't remember where I got the idea from it's a bit old but this story is once again me writing cracky stuff. The story plays in ... I would say our modern world but with fantasy/magic thrown in. Honestly I haven't done much worldbuilding with this, I mostly just wanted to write something silly.

I actually posted this on Ao3 once but have taken it down this year cause... it just felt weird to have my original fiction with my other fanfic stuff. Also the quality of my writing just really didn't feel up to par and it made me cringe.

But!

I still have the chapters (and some snippets) and while it's old I still like the concept so in the spirit of sharing:

Have the first chapter of 100 and one ways to mess up a demon summoning, where we follow one Cassandra's journey of becoming a demon summoner to make quick cash (and honour her parents). Spoiler: she's horrible at it.

---

Try # 1 and the reason why I have no fridge

So, naturally, my first attempt on demon summoning didn’t exactly go as planned.

But – let’s be honest – nobody expects their first try to work. It’s a universal truth that the first time is always some kind of trial run, so you can just shrug your shoulders after the whole thing blows up in your face and be like “It was the first. It’ll work next time.”

Of course, geniuses are expectations of this rule and for all my awesomeness I am certainly not a genius. So, the universe demanded my failure and my summoning went to hell (well not literally but you know what I’m getting at).

I had even been prepared for it. Thinking back on it the lack of confidence in my abilities was kind of depressing but it certainly saved my life in the long run. Because somebody in my line of work would end up as a pile of ashes if they didn’t have a fire extinguisher at least within arm reach (it’s even highly recommended in every “Summoning for dummies” guide I’ve ever read and I was thorough).

Since explosions and random fires are pretty much in my job description, I was ready for the flames on my fridge (even if it was on the other end of the room). I immediately covered the fridge as well as half of my apartment in white foam and bid goodbye to my lunch.

Heavily sighing I combed my hand through my short brown hair and stared at the mess I created. Foam everywhere, flames still licking at my furniture and the blood from my summoning array leaving a metallic stench in the air.

The feeling of failure held nothing against the crushing realization that I was the one who had to clean up this utter clusterfuck.

I felt like sighing again.

And rolling up in a ball while wallowing in self-pity. Probably even crying a bit, which has always the effect of making me feel better as well as leaving me as a little lump of patheticness. I couldn’t decide if that small release of my negative emotions through tears was worth ruining the rest of my already destroyed make-up and therefore my still lingering good mood. In the end all I could do was flinching when the shrilling of the doorbell brought me out of my state of depression. I considered just staying in my wrecked living room and ignoring whoever had the nerve to visit me in one of my worst *cough* embarrassing *cough* moment of my life.

But let it be known that I Cassandra Felicitas Knightingale may be a lousy demon summoner but at the very least I knew my manners. So as the polite person I was, I opened the front door and hoped to get away with not offering any beverages (since most of them are still on fire).

I was greeted by the sight of my best friend Raphael who got one good look of me and immediately stated with a flat voice.

“Didn’t work, huh?”

It was one thing to admit failure when you are alone in dark corner of the world where nobody can hear you. It was a completely different issue if your supposedly friend picked up your failings and slapped them right across your face while standing on your doorstep. In public. Where everybody and their dog could hear him.

You couldn’t blame me for pouting. “I don’t know where it went wrong. I followed the instructions of the book to the point.”

Raphael nodded sagely. “Of course you did. It’s not like your home is burning down.” Then he fake-gasped, his eyes widening unreasonably large, because my best friend is a sarcastic little shit. “But look at that. Scorch marks every where, how did I not notice.”

My cheeks were burning as hot as my fridge did only a few minutes ago.

“Shut up” I muttered and opened the door wide enough for him to step inside.

He just chuckled, clearly amused and ignored the words I threw at him.

Once we were in the living room, I expected him to rub it in that I screwed up but instead was met with intense silence.

I was immediately suspicious.

When he turned around, he raised one of his perfectly trimmed eyebrows and gave me – dare I say it – an incredulous look, which made me slightly uncomfortable (who am I kidding I was ready to jump out of the window at this point).

This combination of lifted eyebrow and plain disbelief on his face was one of the expressions Raphael saved for the times I did something incredibly stupid.

Him being a rather successful practitioner of summoning told me that I really messed up. Big time.

He folded his arms in front of his chest and stared me down like a mother finding her child’s hand in the cookie jar. I may have never had the pleasure of being mothered but my aunt had been very good at disappointing looks. And to my misfortune Raphael was just as good at imitating them.

“You should be glad that the apartment complex is still standing”, he stated flatly, disapproval dripping from his voice and making me wish the ground swallowed me up whole.  “I can give you at least 27 mistakes which could have left you with either an explosion grand enough to make a nuclear bomb look like a firework or the apocalypse by demon invasion and I. am. Still. Counting.”

I gulped and chose the course of action which left me un-maimed. Namely shutting the hell up and looking as regretful as possible.

It seemed that I wasn’t very successful since Raphael’s glare seemed to intensify a tenfold.

“You have the devil’s luck and I pray to all the gods above that you didn’t get it through a summoning.”

At this point I normally would start to protest and at least defend myself against this tirade but one look at the remains of my fridge caused my argument to get stuck in my throat.

Raphael sighed, clearly exasperated with my antics and sounding very tired.

He may have gotten used to my clumsy, skittish self because instead of slapping me like I deserved he only turned around to look at the chaos I created and said.

“Well, let’s get started with the clean up.”

I sighed in relief. “I always knew there was a reason why I kept you around.”

He wasn’t very impressed by my comment which he showed in barely helping me clean up at all, rather sitting on my coach and giving unwanted commentary from the sidelines while I did all the hard work.

I really should learn how to keep my trap shut.

“You know that it isn’t prohibited to let somebody check your work before you try summoning right?”

I scowled at his words, scrubbing intensely on the blood on my living-room floor like it personally insulted me (in a way it did – why couldn’t it have worked, dammit?).

“And you should know that your old hag of a grandmother would never let it count if there was even a hint of an evidence that you helped me” I shot back, still frustrated with the blood stain and my failure. Being reminded of my friend’s grumpy relatives whose goals were making my life extremely difficult wasn’t helping my case.

But Raphael wasn’t stopped by my misery (it was one of the main requirements of being my friend). “It’s not like I’m drawing out your summoning arrays. I would just look over your notes and reassure myself that you don’t end up killing anybody.”

“Oh, thank you very much. How honorable of you” I muttered sarcastically under my breath. “I bet the old hag will find out either way so don’t bother. I can do this on my own.”

Raphael sighed but didn’t pry further.

I knew he didn’t give up. No, not by a long shot, he was just aware that it was useless to argue with me when I was in one of my moods.

So, he left me to my cleaning and mumbled curses while he searched my cupboards for snacks (my best friend was an extremely petty individual).

It took me two hours to scrub away all the blood, clean up the extinguisher foam and deal with the spontaneous little fires which turned up on my fridge every few minutes. Raphael decided to be merciful and help me halfway through, so I wouldn’t sit on this mess until midnight. (His words not mine!)

In the end Raphael only cautioned me to not try summoning again until he looked over my rough drafts and to – I quote - “not blow myself up” - end quote, while he was gone.

With those soothing words and an empty stomach (thanks for eating up my emergency food supply best friend!) I crawled under my covers and got my much-needed rest.

Cassandras summoning journal written by Cassandra Felicitas Knightingale edited by Raphael Yves

Try # 1 on 15th April

demon for summoning: low rank fire demon class E

safety precautions: 1 fire extinguisher … how can you only have a fire extinguisher as precaution?! What about talismans and barrier seals and … you have no idea what I’m talking about right? *sigh*

materials: 1 liter pig blood, 3 candles, 1 anchor stone at least you got that right

observations: immediately after chanting fridge caught fire and no demon in sight

conclusion: FAILURE

reasons for failure: I have no clue there were too many to list them all anyway

---

Some more ramblings (because you opened pandora's box lmao). As you can see I've always been fond of adding snarky commentary to my OC's notes lol. First Rapheal, then Dave. And yes, I recycled the name Yves for my KHR OC cause I just really like the name. Also please ignore all grammar mistakes in this because while I did just edit some stuff it's still a bit messy.